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Thursday, July 29, 2004 HAGXHAUSTEDi’m in rehearsals for the film ZOMBIE PROM (dancing, singing, acting) and way too exhausted to write about it. i’ll bring you up to speed on my day off. . | Permalink Tuesday, July 27, 2004 Hey Ru -I work for the Wildlife Resources Agency, and I get calls about skunks every single day that goes by. What the neighborhoods in the Hollywood Hills need to do is STOP feeding any of their pets outside first of all. Skunks love cat & dog food, so if anyone is feeding their pets outside (and not taking it in at night), it's also a FREE BUFFET for the skunks, raccoons, coyotes, etc., etc. Next thing is for folks to cover up any "holes" the skunks can get into to den. They are nocturnal creatures and they'll ramble out of the den at night to forage for food. That is when you need to take advantage of their being out from under the house, shed, or whatever, and cover up the hole where they have their den. However, you need to be sure there are no baby skunks inside the den. Probably the best way to move them out of the Hollywood Hills is to contact the California Wildlife people and get them to recommend licensed trappers for that area to come remove them. Skunks are nasty little critters to catch, and you can be assured you WILL get sprayed should you want to remove them yourself. (I don't see you wanting to do that though.) ;) Trappers who are licensed to remove wild animals know how to trap them in a way to minimize that problem - usually. (Nothing is failsafe.) I have no idea what trappers out there would charge to remove skunks, but it's probably pretty high, because skunks are the most expensive animal to remove. As I said right off, though, the best thing to do is to remove all food sources and they'll move to other areas eventually. There is also some stuff you can buy at PetCo or PetSmart called "Nature's Miracle" that neutralizes skunk odor from your pets, yourself, your home - it's about $10 a bottle, and we tell folks that if they have skunk smell in their house, they can use that to neutralize it. Our only female officer got herself sprayed a couple of years ago, and she said that was the ONLY thing she tried that got rid of the smell, so.... Good luck with the skunk problem. Let me know how it all turns out for you & your neighborhood. Your pal, Julie . | Permalink HOMO, SWEET HOMOyesterday, on the flight to LAX, i dreamt we had to make an emergency landing in NEW ORLEANS because the cargo door wouldn’t close. last night, i was awakened by the sweet smell of skunk, that has become synonymous with the HOLLYWOOD HILLS. . | Permalink Friday, July 23, 2004 CATS WITHOUT CLAWSwell, tonight it finally happened. after years of worshipping, idolizing and immortalizing her in and around my home, i finally met JOCELYNE WILDENSTEIN. she came to see my show at a club here in NYC called PLAID. she came backstage before i went on and i begged her to introduce me on stage, which she did. the show was a stone gas, and i had a phat funky-fresh time. afterward, JOCELYNE invited me to come to her house, but i couldn’t because i was in full dragalia and soaking wet. i so wanted to see her place...i’m sure it’s completely outrageous. the club was packed to the rafters, just like my show at THERAPY on monday night. it’s been fun performing in NYC again because it’s filled with young kids who grew up watching me and who now have the chance to see me in person for the first time. when i first hit it big, it was difficult for me to gig in MANHATTAN because of all the negative energy i got from the jealous cunts i started out in “the biz” with. tonight i felt nothing but love. BOY GEORGE even showed up tonight...i absolutely adore him. . | Permalink Thursday, July 22, 2004 ASPHALT JUNGLE LOVEsomehow, it felt oddly satisfying that i had five strangers pressed up against my bits and pieces. there wasn’t any fear of foul odors because we had all just gotten out of the shower, and any reservations i had about commitment would be taken care of by the time we reached TIMES SQUARE. the #2 train was packed, as usual at 8am, and i relished having that as an excuse to be so close to all the other passengers. all day, we spend so much time avoiding eye contact, much less body contact, that it felt good to (out of necessity) be right up in each others grill...well, i’m speaking for myself, of course. i don’t have to do it everyday, plus i live in LOS ANGELES, but in that moment, it felt good to be a NEW YORKER. i probably just need to get laid! SOWING THE SEEDS OF LOVE i’ve impregnated 8 IPODS since i’ve been here. two weeks ago, i met MICHAEL SEAN on the C train and last night we finally got together to swap files...literally. NORTON EFFECT the best part of doing the GRAHAM NORTON EFFECT was that they didn’t pre-interview me, which usually squashes any spontaneity an interview might have. the researcher of my segment clearly dug deep into my weblog instead of torturing me with a buzz killing pre-interview. i haven’t seen the show, but tons of people have written saying that they enjoyed it. i can’t imagine what the editor was able to salvage from my section, because we were sooo X rated. my plan was to not do TV until the album comes out, and to focus on gay, dance and DJ culture with the single, but i love GRAHAM so much that i couldn’t say no. i’m happy i did it. . | Permalink Sunday, July 18, 2004 PUPPETRY AND A PENISAVENUE Q. won a TONY last month for BEST MUSICAL, and after experiencing it today, it was easy to see why. it was very funny, clever and irreverent. the cast was perfect. the audience was in love. midway through the second act, TOM and i looked at each other and said “that guy has to be the voice of FOZZIE BEAR!!!” during the whole first act, i was distracted by the huge “opening act” that BARRETT FOA was featuring in his pants...i couldn’t take my eyes off of it. later, before we hit THE APPLE STORE, we stopped for “sugar free” ice cream in SOHO. we were eating our deceptive treats, while watching a street acappella group called USACAPPELLA, when two photographers for the NY POST popped out of nowhere and started taking pictures of me. i’ve been away from NYC for so long that it startled me, but i acted natural and calm. i could feel sweat beads starting to form on my forehead and my heart began to beat rapidly. it’s kind of a scary thing. when they finished, they came over and identified themselves and very nicely asked TOM what his name was. they asked me where have i been and what i had coming up. i told them about my album in september. . | Permalink Saturday, July 17, 2004 RuMIXESTOM got here thursday and we’ve been rippin’ and runnin’ the streets ever since. THE PIERS, THE GAEITY, BROOKLYN, you name it! tomorrow we’ll see a matinee of AVENUE Q. yesterday, i also mastered the remix configurations for LOOKING GOOD, FEELING GORGEOUS and they are out of this fucking world. you will so gag when you hear them. they will be available on ITUNES very soon (if GOD’S willing). . | Permalink Thursday, July 15, 2004 BURN MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!all this week, my mouth has hurt like fucking hell. my dentist did a tissue graft last week and it feels like a third degree burn on the roof of my pie hole, which is where she took the tissue from. the whole experience brings new meaning to the phrase “the roof is on fire”. the only food i could eat was soft-serve ice cream from TASTIE D-LITE, the franchise phenom that has taken over MANHATTAN. there’s a location in SOHO that claims a “sugar-free” pecan ice cream that i visit daily. i’m taking full advantage of my mouth situation. this morning, my dentist took the stitches out, and it hurt even worst all day, and believe me, i have a high tolerance for pain. IRISH RICHARD took me to dinner and i (slowly) managed a cheeseburger without the bun and some salad greens. he’s such a joy that i forgot about the pain of eating. later, i met up with RHONDA ROSS at OZ on the corner of 50th st and 1st avenue. she’ll be singing there in 2 weeks every wednesday night for 6 weeks. she suggested i take some ADVIL and viola! the pain was gone! why didn’t i fucking think of that? we key-key’d and cut up all night until we shared a train ride across and uptown. and yes, it did occur to me that i was riding the NYC subway system with THE BOSS’ daugther. all and all, i’m having a fabulous time in the city. last night, i appeared on THE GRAHAM NORTON EFFECT. it’ll broadcast on COMEDY CENTRAL thursday night. we had shitload of fun. i hope they can keep all the naughty bits. he’s a real gas! (that’s a good thing, graham!) . | Permalink Wednesday, July 14, 2004 DOPIthat fucked up battery thing is happening to my IPOD. you know, where it doesn't hold the charge for very long? i gotta call JONNO to ask him where i should send it to get the battery replaced. DEVIL!!! . | Permalink Tuesday, July 13, 2004 ONE SWEET DAYJARED JONES is a remixer from RICHMOND, VIRGINIA who emailed me last year asking if he could work some magic on a few of my tracks. since then, we’ve become close friends, so much so that he flew to CALI to visit me in april and is currently staying with me here in MANHATTAN. last night, we tipped over to AVALON (the old LIMELIGHT) to key-key with PETER MaCLAINE and his roommate. the staff treated us like royalty and we all had a good time. this morning, i had a fitting with ZALDY for my new costumes. i got the time wrong and showed up a half hour early. i spent the rest of the day with HIGH VOLTAGE at her new apartment in LIBERTY CITY. we worked out at the gym, and then went shopping for her first IPOD. i told VOLTAGE that i’m obsessed with SPLENDA, so she sent me home with apricot preserves and chewy candy made with the splendid sweetener. . | Permalink Monday, July 12, 2004 NOT LIKE A VIRGINthey say you’ll always remember your “first time”, and it’s true. the one who pops your cherry is the one whom you’ll judge all other similar experiences by. my hymen had already been pierced by the time MADONNA came along, so i was never too excited by what she had to offer. don’t get me wrong, i like alot of her songs and i admire the way she’s challenged the boundries of our culture, but for me it was always BOWIE, DIANA and CHER who defined my idea of a “hot shit player”. i enjoyed the RE-INVENTION concert on thursday night, but i never felt moved enough to scream and shout. i did, however, scream and shout at the BLONDE AMBITION show 14 years ago, but i was also tanked up on booze, pills and pot. in my opinion, i didn’t feel this show had the fire to provoke screaming and shouting, but it did make me appreciate an artist who works her ass off to give the best she has. . | Permalink Friday, July 09, 2004 DEMONNAi went to see MADONNA in NEW JERSEY tonight, but i’m too sleepy to blab about it right now. i’ll fill you in tomorrow. . | Permalink Wednesday, July 07, 2004 RU HONEY, I THINK YOU DROPPED SOMETHING...OH, IT WAS JUST A COUPLE OF NAMES.i had lunch with PETER McLAINE today and he played me a rough version of the remix he did for LOOKING GOOD, FEELING GORGEOUS. i absolutely loved it. it’s very different from GOMI’S remix, which is also to die for. later, i edited photos from last week’s shoot with MIKE RUIZ, also a homerun. from there, i popped over to JASON HAYES’ salon to pick up my reconditioned “girls”. he was in the middle of putting extensions on MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL for a role she’s doing. i liked her alot, which really made sense after i found out her birthday is november 16th. on the way home, i took 2 wrong trains, which had me lost for an hour underground. i’m ashamed to say that i had a “game night” tonight with 10 people and every single one of them was a gay man. i swear i invited women, but they didn’t show up. SIEDAH is in town on the MADONNA tour, but she said she was resting her voice for THE MEADOWLANDS show tomorrow night. RHONDA ROSS is in EUROPE, and ALISON POLLET is busy finishing the sequel to NOBODY WAS HERE. everybody brought snacks that are not featured on my SUZANNE SOMERS diet plan, but i ate them anyway. i figured “fuck it, i’ve got dental surgery tomorrow morning...so i’ll live it up tonight”. . | Permalink Tuesday, July 06, 2004 THE ANTIDOTE FOR "THE PASSION..."no, the new MICHAEL MOORE film probably won’t change the minds of pro-BUSH freaks, but it will solidify a united front for change in november. i was so moved by the film, which had me laughing, crying and motivated to make some fucking noise. see FAHRENHEIT 9/11. run, don’t walk, especially if you’ve turned 18 in the past year. . | Permalink Monday, July 05, 2004 MARSHANDEDafter returning from my first trip to STATEN ISLAND in over twenty years, i was stopped by a young man who had that look of recognition in his eyes. he asked me if i am who he thinks i am and i said “yes”. he went on to say he knows i’m a big ROSS fan and that he is as well, in fact, i can ask him any question about ROSS and he can answer it. well, that challenge coupled with a thick MISSISSIPPI accent was a combo i couldn’t refuse. we sat down on a bench in front of CHOW, a restaurant at the corner of west 4th and west 10th. he told me his name was MARSHAND, he was 26 years old, new to the city and that he had just last week received a masters degree in journalism at SYRACUSE (he’d be played by a young TAYE DIGGS). MARSHAND was so very charming and unpretentious that i couldn’t resist showing him around the neighborhood. this was not a love connection, but we did have dinner at CHOW (compliments of the owner, BOB) watched the sunset on the CHRISTOPHER STREET PIER and took in a broadway show (THE GAEITY, ALL-MALE BURLESQUE REVUE). it was great to experience the city through his eyes. LOADED friday, SAM FINE came over and i loaded up his IPOD with over 5000 new songs. i brought my external hard drive, so i have my entire music collection with me. i did the same for TY, TINA KNOWLES’ assistant, on sunday. both guys passed on my country music playlists, which would have added an extra 2000 songs to their repertoire. CARDED the smartest thing i did upon arriving in MANHATTAN was buy a METRO CARD with unlimited access to the subways and buses. of course, that also means i’ve spent hours underground waiting for trains in the opposite direction, to make up for the the trains i’ve jumped on by mistake. i get intoxicated by the random combination of personalities every train has to offer. it reminds me of the old line...”there are 8 million stories in the naked city...” BRANDED it all about BRANDY’S new album for me right now. . | Permalink Friday, July 02, 2004 BACK TO BROADWAYi remember reading an article about JOAN RIVERS many years ago in which she revealed that her daily grind on the comeback trail consisted of endless days of hard work at a bone-breaking pace. she said that by the time she would hit the bed at night, she barely had enough strength to pull back the covers. i’ve never forgotten that story, and over the years i’ve used it as the watermark to measure my own degree of willingness to hustle. ever since i hit the road to renewal a few weeks ago in BRAZIL, the days have been long and hard, and the nights few and short...but i have to tell you i wouldn’t change a goddamn thing. it’s so totally fulfilling. i arrived in NYC last week, and it’s been nonstop go-go-go ever since. i’m calling it my grassroots campaign to win the support of “the childrens”. basically, i’m shaking hands and kissing babies. i performed at the FREEDOM PARTY during gay pride, did a shitload of radio press junkets, jockeyed the WKTU float for the gay pride parade, shot publicity photos with MIKE RUIZ in the middle of TIMES SQUARE (SAM FINE did my make-up, JASON HAYES did my hair) and had a gaggle of meetings to strategize my world domination. i know i’d be way more exhausted if i’d weren’t SOMERSIZING and working out. last night, a bunch of friends gathered at a restaurant called 5/NINTH AVE to celebrate JOELLE’S birthday. we had a terrific time, but we were all in a bit of shock because the restaurant used to be the three story FEDERAL STYLE house that me, LADY BUNNY, LAHOMA and LARRY TEE lived in for many years. the memories kept swirling around in my head, because i was literally sitting in my old bedroom...over there was the spot that NELSON died of a heart attack, and right there was the place we found BLACKOUT dead after he could hardly bark or climb the stairs anymore, and this was the area where me and this trick i brought home...well, you get the picture. the first night i slept in that house was 20 years ago when i brought the RuPAUL IS RED HOT REVUE to NYC,and the last night i slept in that house was august of 1991, so you can imagine the magnitude of flashbacks i was experiencing. i sat next to DAVID DALRYMPLE at the birthday gathering and he commented that i finally got my wish of a fully stocked bar in my bedroom, only this bar didn’t serve our old house brands ALEXI or POPOV. all and all, i walked away from the experience with gratitude for being alive and a huge appreciation for change. more to come from THE BIG APPLE . . | Permalink 2009 RuCo, Inc.—All Rights Reserved |
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