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Sunday, May 29, 2005 I KEEP FORGETTINGi was in the 9th grade when i read ANIMAL FARM for the first time. it had a major impact on me because it confirmed all of my social observations as an adolescent outsider. over the years, i would reference the GEORGE ORWELL classic to anyone who would listen, and even more so during the current presidency. i read it again on the flight to EL PASO and it still fucking twists my tits. our biggest problem as a society is that we frigging have amnesia (not the queen "AMNESIA". honey, you're fabulous!). we forget the lessons of our past. blacks, gays, women and democrats have all come down with a massive case of ALZHEIMER'S. . | Permalink Friday, May 27, 2005 HERE NOR THEREin february of 1981, i caught a GREYHOUND bus from SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA to ATLANTA, GEORGIA. it took 3 days to cover the 2600 mile trek, and almost 25 years for me to try and forget the experience. it was pretty awful. the only awesome thing i remember about the trip was pulling into EL PASO, TEXAS at sunset during a dust storm. it was completely surreal because the dust took on the color of the burnt orange sunset. there were even tumbleweeds blowing through the "old town" section of the city where the GREYHOUND terminal is located. in slow motion, the bus crept down the deserted MAIN STREET with it's turn of the century buildings straight out of ORSON WELLES' TOUCH OF EVIL . it felt like we were rolling through the reload portion of a gunfight. all these years later, i could've almost made myself believe it never happened and that it was all a dream... that is before JOELLE and i walked down that very street last night after dinner. we're in EL PASO to do a show at THE ZONE tonight. we're staying at a hotel near the club, so we decided to walk over there and check out the scene. it was a warm, windy night with thunder and lightening in the distance. the streets were deserted except for occasional foot traffic headed to the club. i immediately recognized the streets as the ones from my bus ride in '81. not much had changed. as we walked, we saw what looked like a big truck stop about three blocks ahead of us. the closer we got, it became clear that this was no service station, but the MEXICAN BORDER. then, all at once i got it! EL PASO means THE PASS. the pass between MEXICO and THE U.S. and the pass between consciousness and the subconscious. that's why i couldn't tell if my brief visit in '81 was a dream or real. let's hope tonight's show won't be a nightmare. . | Permalink Wednesday, May 25, 2005 SUNNY SIDE UPi saw the new STAR WARS picture tonight and i don't remember anything about it except the question it raises about the dark side vs. the side of "good". it basically states that a terrorist can be considered a patriot, depending on what side you're on. i often wonder what my experience on this planet might have been like had i chosen the dark side. maybe i am on the dark side and don't even know it. naw, that can't be true because i'd have alot more cash and prizes had i chosen the dark side. it seems that rotten, nasty people get away with way more shit than kind people do, and all us compassionate suckers bought the karma bullshit "lock, stock and barrel". i'd consider changing affiliations, but i just don't do evil very well... oh, but i guess that depends on who you ask. . | Permalink Monday, May 23, 2005 PACIFICAlast sunday night i did my show in ALBUQUERQUE. i'll never forget riding the #66 city bus down CENTRAL AVE. it was more edgy than some of the places i've been in BROOKLYN. last night i performed at gay pride in LONG BEACH, CALIFORNIA. rather than go back and forth cross country in one week, JOELLE and i elected to stay out west in LOS ANGELES. i got to visit my family and friends, and discovered how much i miss living here. i stayed at RANDY'S gorgeous house in THE HILLS all week, but saturday and sunday i stayed in LONG BEACH at a hotel overlooking THE PACIFIC OCEAN. saturday night, JACK and ALEX drove down and we went to dinner, and then to "the lot", a parking lot on the beach directly across the street from a gay bar called RIPPLES. we walked on the shore in the moonlight and laughed and laughed. we later sat across the street from RIPPLES and watched the crowd. it was there that i got a call from EDDIE MOSS, the guy who portrays MICHAEL JACKSON on the E! trial reenactments, asking where i was. i told him to meet us in front of RIPPLES. we spent most of the evening in "the lot" watching these very young black kids "vogueing" in front of the headlights of a parked car with it's stereo blasting deep HOUSE MUSIC. it was a hoot. they were amazing! it's funny how in sobriety, i find the most odd situations to amuse myself. it's usually more fun than some of the rotten nights i used to spend crunked. . | Permalink Wednesday, May 18, 2005 HOLY GUACAMOLE!when PJ lived in L.A, he always tried to get me to go hiking with him in BRONSON CANYON. he said i would love it, but i never accepted his invitation. much later, after he moved back to NYC, i started hiking and fell fucking head over heels in love with BRONSON and all the canyons in the area. i had to admit he was so right, and i regret missing the experience with him. years ago, ALISON, RANDY and PJ urged me to get TIVO immediately because they said "it was made for someone like you". i told them all "in time". last month, after my stint of housesitting at ARI GOLD'S, i freaking flipped out with TIVO! i really GOT IT on an emotional level... way, way after the fact. today, i finally got wireless airport card for my laptop, after much prodding from JOELLE, RANDY and PJ. i can't believe it took me so goddamned long to get with it! IT'S FABULOUS! it has frigging changed my life, and i've only had it for 12 hours! i called PJ and asked him to please recommend something else i SHOULD be doing, because whatever it is he recommends, i'm gonna fuckin' do it! without hesitation, he said "move to BROOKLYN". to that i said "HMMM" . | Permalink Saturday, May 14, 2005 I USED TO......hate the sound of PAT'S voice, but now i love it! BARBATO sent me the link TO THIS ! . | Permalink Tuesday, May 10, 2005 SHIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!before i had a weblog, i would write mini-essays chronicling my new life in LOS ANGELES and send them to my friends via email. most of these compositions were lost after my computer crashed, but a few days ago, my buddy JOHN BOWE told me he still had the one i wrote after i experienced my first HIGH COLONIC. he was kind enough to forward it to me, so i now present it to my blog readers almost five years after it was written, and several colonics later. OOOPS! I THINK I SHITTED AGAIN! Fri. 10 Nov 2000 my colonic irrigation was a complete success! free at last, free at last. thank GOD almighty i'm free at last! before my appointment, i imagined it would be done in some seedy dive with live chickens roaming around a backroom featuring overhead fluorescent lighting. i imagined the administer to be some illegal alien wearing yellow dishwashing gloves and a two year old toddler on her hip. she'd come out from behind raggedy curtains and scream "who next!" then, the lady poo technician would lead me to some smelly, damp hole in the wall with a T.V. in the corner blaring THE PEOPLE'S COURT. i had imagined she'd stick a long metal prong-thing up my ass, like the ones they use to do liposuction, and aggressively scrape the walls of my lovin' oven. or even worse, she'd fill me to the brim with cold sudsy water using one of those high powered hoses from the do-it-yourself carwash! unable to hold it in, my bowels would explode all over the room, leaving me humiliated and emotionally scarred for life. oh the horror! add to all of that, the embarrassment we all have in our culture with anything to do with bodily functions. yes, i'm talking about "shit shame". i'm pretty sure that "shit shame" is what kept me (and most people) from ever doing a "high colonic" before. but, it was always the promise of erasing my past from the inside out that kept me intrigued. who could blame me for wanting to get rid of all the chewing gum i swallowed as a kid? chewing gum that was presumably still stuck in the nooks and crannies of my intestinal lineage. instead of the horror story i imagined, the facility was a clean street level medical office with holistic touches here and there. new age music and incense created a calm, sanctuary feeling. a serene asian woman named MAY led me to a room that was not unlike a doctor's examining room, except the lights were dim. everything was very clean. MAY'S energy made me feel very safe, comfortable and relaxed. after i changed into a hospital gown (no sequins or beads), MAY returned and explained how the process would proceed. she showed me the "never been opened", "sealed in the plastic", sanitized hose that would be used. i got up on the table and laid in a semi fetal position on my left side. she then instructed me to insert the tip of the hose into my rectum. well, i'm no stranger to ass insertion. "just the tip ?" i asked. i think MAY was very impressed with my unflinching finesse. she had me stop at only three inches! "thats all?" i said. i told her i could barely feel it! ("wake me when you're done..."). with the hose securely up my poop chute, i eased onto my back, feet flat, knees up. warm water entered through a separate canal in the hose, after a few minutes, waste was extracted through another canal in the same hose. mounted on the wall near my feet, there was a laboratory-like backlit monitor with two tubes that showed what was going in and what was coming out. i decided to not look at the monitor, but MAY did as if she was reading my future, and clearly my past. MAY gently massaged my stomach and key pressure points on my arms, legs and neck, while always reminding me to breathe. i focused on releasing my past and letting go of old resentments. it felt wonderful and there was absolutely no smell or leakage whatsoever. forty-five minutes later it was done, and my stomach felt flat as a board and my body felt light as a feather. i had finally achieved a rootie-tootie fresh & fruity booty! i started to fantasize about having a high colonic system installed in my house. i pictured myself backing that as up everyday, whenever i wanted. WORD! i asked if i could schedule an appointment for tomorrow, but MAY said come back in three weeks. i can't wait until my next visit. i was very proud that i had successfully jumped a massive hurdle in my quest to eradicate "shit shame" from my life. now i'm looking forward to eliminating shame (and shit) from other areas of my mind, body and spirit! colonically yours ,ru aka shitney spears. Fri. 10 Nov 2000 . | Permalink Monday, May 09, 2005 $10.25 IS ANY FILM WORTH IT?i saw THE INTERPRETER tonight. it's very distracting when a director casts himself in his own movie. the film was awfully boring. i spent the whole two hours dissecting NICOLE KIDMAN'S lace front wig, which was human and kinda nice. . | Permalink Sunday, May 08, 2005 THE WEST VILLAGE PEOPLEoh mercy, mercy me! tonight, i went to dinner with MICHAEL ROURKE in the WEST VILLAGE and afterward we walked down to the piers. well, a gang of pier children with a flair for "vogue-ing" caught our eye, and we became entranced. so much so that we followed them from THE HUDSON RIVER to 6th AVE and back again for almost 2 hours. their ages ranged from 14 to 19, and we imagined that they all came from BROOKLYN or HARLEM. we even gave them names: "green shirt", "pink pants", "ponytail trannie", "shopping bag" and "hold on", just to name a few. our favorite was "granny glasses". she was a lesbian in a pair of 5 inch cork heels and parachute pants who ordered all her cronies around like a drill sergeant. at one point she hollered "which one of you motherfuckers is gonna buy me a gold chain!?" they were all so fascinating! the things they said, the way they moved... without a warning they would just breakout into "vogue" moves. they had to have known we were following them, i mean come on, 2 hours. when someone yelled "fight!" we all took off running down CHRISTOPHER STREET. there had to have been a hundred kids running toward the action... oh, and 2 older gentleman (in their forties) following them. . | Permalink Wednesday, May 04, 2005 CATCHING UPwe did shows in JACKSONVILLE, FL. and ST. LOUIS, MO. this past weekend. thank you to all the people who came out to see me, i had a terrific time. i spent the past few weeks housesitting at ARI GOLD'S condo on the LOWER EAST SIDE. it was really great discovering the neighborhood. the best chicken salad sandwich in MANHATTAN is down there at the FULL CITY COFFEE SHOP. ARI was on tour in EUROPE. monday, i moved into another sublet until the condo i've owned for the past ten years is ready for me to occupy. the sublet i'm in now is located in the most unlikely place you can imagine. you'll gag when i reveal it's location (at the end of my lease, of course). today, i spent the day laughing and "key-keying" on a sound stage with DESTINY'S CHILD. i was called in by FRANK GATSON to help conceptualize a couple of filmed segments for their U.S. tour. the segments will be used during two costume changes. FRANK choreographed my LAS VEGAS show ten years ago, and has raised the bar way high for every diva he's ever collaborated with. the first time i met the girls was the week MICHELLE and FARRAH joined the group. since then, fate has made our paths cross on numerous occasions. i hope my new single hits number one. this week, it's at number nine on BILLBOARD'S dance chart. . | Permalink 2009 RuCo, Inc.—All Rights Reserved |
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