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Thursday, March 30, 2006

TRULY OBSESSED

tonight, at the VIRGIN MEGASTORE, i picked up four new cds.

1. STEPHANIE MILLS: GOLD
finally they've released a definitive collection that includes "last night" "pilot error" and the never released song from the movie STARTING OVER entitled "better than ever". HARRY WEINGER is a genius for putting this package together!

2. THE EMOTIONS: SUPER HITS
it was $8 and my other greatest hits cd from them is buried until i organize my piles of cds.

3. ESTHER PHILLIPS: THE KUDU YEARS 1971-1977
same thing, i bought it again. i have it somewhere, but i can't find it.

4. SHANICE: EVERY WOMAN DREAMS
a brand new album from this GREAT singer! i saw the cd in PARIS and decided to wait and buy it stateside so that she could notch up another "soundscan".

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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

WHORE-RAY FOR HOLLYWOOD

oh my sweet gherkins! i just saw "the making of" footage of my new movie and i am so awesomely inspired by it. WORLD OF WONDER sent 'round newsreel style clips that they put together using some of the footage and i swear it made my nipples hard. soon, they will post the clips on THEIR WEBSITE .

in the movie, my character goes undercover as a hooker, so i get to wear all these fabulous street whore "get-ups" that i haven't had the opportunity to wear since i became famous. back in the day, i used to habitually dress like a "black hooker", but when i became "america's drag queen sweetheart", all that stopped and i started dressing to designer perfection... very boring... especially since any slag in HOLLYWOOD can hire a stylist and look the very same predictable, safe way. nobody makes fashion mistakes anymore because they all hire a professional to dress them.

don't get me wrong, i know i can work it like nobody else and i can look better than most, but when it comes to really enjoying being in "drags", trashy whore is the only way to dress. in fact, i think as soon as this movie comes out, my new look will be exclusively "ol' skool black hooker"... think SOUL TRAIN or MARY JANE GIRLS circa 1986.

i guess it's probably time to divulge the name of the movie, but part of me wants to wait a little while longer. i tell ya what, within the next week, i will release the actual name of "the rupaul movie project".

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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

SOMERS HEAT

i just had to tear myself away from SUZANNE SOMERS on the HOME SHOPPING NETWORK. i cannot stop watching whenever she's on. i feel compelled to buy everything she's selling, although i've never gotten up enough courage to pick up the phone and place an order. i have bought her SOMERSIZE books at the BARNES & NOBLE, though.

FORDIFIED

tomorrow, i finally get to meet COLTON FORD. we're planning to write and record a duet together.


DRAG NAME OF THE WEEK:

KIKI BISCAYNE

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Monday, March 27, 2006

PIECES OF A DREAM

my earliest memory is that of my mother giving my little sister a bath in the kitchen sink. ROZY must have been just under 2 years old at the time, which would have made me 3 years old. my memory of it is really just a split second, like a photograph forever etched in my head.

it's funny how you never know what moment or collection of moments will be stored forever in your internal hard drive, or even more weird is what memories are being unknowingly deleted to make room for new ones.

some of my most cherished memories are merely 3 second clips of random highlights. i wonder if these are the clips that are played when your life flashes before your eyes at check out time.

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Sunday, March 26, 2006

RISE

it feels good to have the weekend off. yesterday, i didn't leave the house at all, i just read and watched movies. next weekend, we're heading to PHOENIX for the first gay pride of the season. i love it out there, not only because of the majestic desert, but also because of what THE PHOENIX symbolizes. i always feel renewed when visit there.

DIRTY DIANA

i'll be listening to the music MISS ROSS today to commemorate her birthday. she's in second place after THE BEATLES for the most number one singles. that's six as a solo artist and twelve with THE SUPREMES. i just discovered this new site devoted entirely to THE BOSS.

ps - have you seen her daughter TRACEY steal the show in the new KANYE WEST video?

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Saturday, March 25, 2006

WE BELONG TOGETHER

i really wanted to have the 2nd ANNUAL MARIAH CAREY CONFERENCE on monday march 27th, (MC'S birthday) but ARI GOLD is in ATLANTA for a week and i wouldn't dare have it without him. last year, the conference had a whooping 4 in attendance, including myself.

DIXIE CHICKEN

why is LYNARD SKYNARD'S "sweet home alabama" the song used in TV commercials for KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN?

SHARE THE WEALTH

i snooped around CHERWORLD.COM today and saw recent pictures of LADY CHAR-CHAR. it's really not fair that she looks so young and gorgeous. check out the shots of her at FASHION WEEK in El Lay.

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Friday, March 24, 2006

FRENCH KISS

during the show wednesday night, as i was singing "house of love", i noticed a young man right up front who was singing all the lyrics with me. i could sense that he was very happy to see me, so i went over and gently stroked the back of his neck. he then leaned in as to kiss my cheek, so i leaned in also. as i was about to make contact with his cheek, he flipped the script and kissed my lips.

in that one moment, i remembered who i really am, why i was born and what i must do with this gift of life. i think it was the most important kiss of my life. i can still feel his big pillowy lips on mine. he must have been an angel, because what i experienced in that split second was an act of pure love.

who i really am? i am an extension of the power that created the universe.
why was i born? to experience that power on a physical and emotional level.
what must i do with this gift? give more love. allow myself to receive more love.

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Thursday, March 23, 2006

GAULLOISES

no one is more self-righteous than an ex-sinner who has found the Lord, except for maybe an ex-smoker who is now "smober". it's been 2 years this month since i stopped smoking, but you'd never know that i smoked for 30 years by the way i go on & on about how gross second hand cigarette smoke smells.

naturally, most people in PARIS smoke, or so it seemed in the club last night. i remember how fun it was to emulate CATHERINE DENEUVE'S smoking technique in THE HUNGER. she made it look sooo glamorous, and it was.

i loved smoking. i was one of those people who would light up every 20 minutes. i guess what i miss the most about it is the sanctioned "time-outs", although everytime i see the girl who works in the office across the street from my apartment standing in the cold getting her smoke on, i think "wow, i'm glad that ain't me". she looks like a slave.

remind me to get my costumes dry cleaned when i get stateside.

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Wednesday, March 22, 2006

CITY OF LIGHTS

i usually travel with my own lighting rig for putting on makeup because most hotel bathrooms are lit for businessman who don't wear as much makeup as i do. hotel bathrooms normally have a light on both sides of the mirror, giving that hawt shadow on both sides of your nose look. not good for creating an illusion. what i need is a hundred watt bulb in the center of the mirror, just slightly above my forehead.

tonight, after i moved the electric currency transformer from the desk (where my laptop sat) to the bathroom where the magic happens, i discovered that 'this little light of mine' was broken. of course i blamed the ransacker from NEWARK INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, but blame didn't help my situation much. i had to improvise, which meant, i painted from memory.

the result was fine, but i'm never quite as confident with a paint job that wasn't conjured up with the help of my portable klieg light. anywho, i got on stage tonight and there were 10 (no lie) paparazzi at the edge of the stage with those hateful digital cameras with big lenses that pick up every pore on your mug. i was totally caught off guard and spooked, but you would have never known it (on account of my professional whoremanship).

i had a terrific time, "irregardless". during my monologue, i expounded the joy of uncut french cock and something about frommage, which the audience seemed to enjoy, and that was it. now it's 4:23am and i'm back at the hotel. the car will take us to the airport in 7 hours. i love PARIS in the springtime.

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STOP IN THE NAME OF LOUVRE

we did THE LOUVRE today in just under 3 hours, and lemme tell you, that's a whole lotta of art to absorb in one day. unfortunately, after the first hour, everything starts to look the same. part of the problem is that alotta the same themes keep popping up, like religion, sorrow, christ, despair, royalty, death, landscapes, sadness... etc.

i have to be on my own when i'm visiting a museum. so after we saw the MONA LISA together, we split up and later met at a designated time and location. the thing is this, i can get really bored in a gallery unless i have my ipod and the freedom to stop moving only when something catches my eye. people watching was my favorite part.

as usual, i listened to the drama of THIS MORTAL COIL and GIORGIO MORODER'S movie scores (american gigolo, cat people, scarface & midnight express).

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Tuesday, March 21, 2006

A TRANSAMERICAN IN PARIS

well done, WAYNE! you are absolutely right!
the circus building in question is indeed the Cirque d'Hiver Bouglione.

BAG·GAGÉ

when i went to unpack my luggage, i saw that it had been completely ransacked. usually when my luggage is searched, a note is left inside by the TRANSPORTATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION saying that they searched it, and things are put back relatively in the order that i packed them. well, that wasn't the case this time. there was no note, and individual plastic bags were just emptied into my luggage like a tossed salad (mmm, tossed salad).

the first thing i thought of was the stories my friend PAUL used to tell of his years as a baggage handler at TWA in the late 80's. he said all the handlers would randomly go on a shopping spree inside the baggage of passengers. today, i'm sure that doesn't happen so much since "you know what". so far, i haven't noticed anything missing, but i sure would love to have seen the look on my invader's face when he tried to make sense of the bag that holds my boxer shorts and fake titties.

LA LISTE

the game called LIST is not unlike the store-bought game called SCATEGORIES. with LIST, all you need is some paper and pens, and a 2 minute timer. in each round, a different player is given a chance to choose the category of which a list will be made by all players. one round, someone might say "list 5 brands of watches" or "list 5 BURT REYNOLDS films" or "list 5 common phrases that use the word SHIT in them" like "you don't know shit from shinola" or "she was built like a brick shithouse" or "the shit done hit the fan"..etc.

once the category is chosen, players have 2 minutes in silence & secrecy to list their 5 answers. at the end of 2 minutes, players, one at a time, verbalize their list. if while reading their list, a person lists an answer that you or several others have also written, say out loud "i had that", then cross that answer off your list. that answer is then voided and no point is given for that answer.

points are given for answers that no one else had listed. keep in mind that the obvious choice is sometimes overlooked because it seems someone is bound to list it (like TIMEX in the watch category). obviously, the most one can score in each round is 5 points. whoever chose the category is the judge/arbitor of their category, but the group can overturn a judgement with an out numbered vote.

one of my favorite categories is: "french words that are a part of COMMON everyday english vernacular". these words usually don't have an english equivalent. be warned, this category almost always ends in a fight because most folks don't understand the curriculum.

here are some examples: debut, toilet, maitre d', brassiere, matinee, lingerie, attache, fiance, bouquet, bouffant, concierge, croissant, foyer, turquoise, champagne, bustier, souffle, chandelier, souvenir ...etc.

you will now see french words pop up all over everyday english speaking life. it's amazing how many we use. keep a list of them, they may come in handy on game night.

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GAY PAREE

the first time i saw PARIS, i was part of a circus act with SUSANNE BARTSCH as the ringmaster. it was 1992 when she brought her stable of NEW YORK freaks to participate in a televised show that was filmed live in a circus round located on BOULEVARD DU TEMPLE. i never imagined i'd ever see that very same circus building again until JOELLE and i emerged out of the METRO and there it was.

we had walked all the way down to the LOUVRE from our hotel, only to learn that the only day the museum is closed is today. so, tired and jet-hagged, we caught the METRO back to the hotel and boom! right across from the subway station was that circus building from my first trip to PARIS.

i'll find out the name of that circus building after i get some much needed rest.

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Monday, March 20, 2006

CRUISE CONTROL

there was a time when we had anti-monopoly laws that insured a reasonable degree of fair trade and freedom of speech. the prophetic threat of having one umbrella corporation controlling so many media outlets is currently being played out in the case of the creators of SOUTH PARK vs. media conglomerate VIACOM.

wouldn't it be awesome if the public rallied around the idea of real freedom and consciously ignored MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3? like something out of the movie NETWORK, people everywhere would roll down the windows of their SUV's and scream " i'm mad as hell and i'm not gonna let you dictate what i can or cannot see!" yeah right, but that would require the public to awaken from their self induced coma.

as i'm writing this, it occurred to me that if the people of IRAQ had anti-depressants, there wouldn't be a civil war or any resistance to our invasion. IRAQ would be just like... AMERICA.

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Saturday, March 18, 2006

INSIDE JOB

sometimes i have moments when i feel for love everybody. like right now, i'm sitting on the airplane, and i can see the beauty in everyone boarding the aircraft. yes, it feels good, but i must admit it's very overwhelming and requires sooo much responsibility. it's moments like this when i understand why the world chooses indifference over love. the world chooses indifference over love not because it's such a small idea, but because it's such a huge idea. it's much easier to be numb to it.

i used to do alotta drugs and i had alotta fun doing them until it wasn't fun anymore. at the time, i felt my "always stoned, never straight" philosophy was justified because i was "such a sensitive soul in such a loveless world".

several years into my sobriety i had an epiphany about my history as a soldier in the "wake & bake" army. my realization was that i didn't do all those drugs because the world was such a loveless place, i did all those drugs because the world was filled with so much love that i had to numb myself from it. i didn't know how to live in a world with all this love for me. hell, i didn't even know how to love myself, much less accept it from complete strangers.

oh shit! CLIVE OWEN just boarded the plane and is sitting across the aisle from me! i fucking worship the air that surrounds that fucker! i gotta go.

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PRONOUNCED TAH-RON-NO

i had a fabulous time on stage tonight in TORONTO! i always enjoy myself here. it was a straight club, but the crowd was mixed. sooo much love energy coming at me. TORONTO is one of my 'good luck' cities. i've filmed several movies here, signed my M.A.C. contract here, and i always find outrageous cd treasures here on YONGE STREET.

earlier today, i found the complete album on cd of HIGH FASHION, the companion group to CHANGE. both bands were conceived and produced by italian super geniuses PETRUS & MALAVASI. HIGH FASHION featured MELI'SA MORGAN & ALYSON WILLIAMS. CHANGE featured LUTHER VANDROSS, DEBORAH COOPER and other great session singers of the early 80's. my theory is that they named the band CHANGE just so it would sit next to CHIC in the record racks. CHANGE was clearly emulating CHIC'S sound.

i'm gonna get up early tomorrow morning and hit YONGE STREET again. i shoulda brought an empty suitcase!

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Friday, March 17, 2006

TRANNY CRUISER

in the morning, we leave for TORONTO.
monday, we are off to PARIS (not the one in TEXAS).

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Thursday, March 16, 2006

WHEN THE STUDENT IS READY, THE TEACHER WILL COME

i was waiting on the corner for the traffic signal to turn, when a transsexual woman came over to me and said "you really should educate people on the challenges transsexual's face". she then went on to describe how frustrating it is for her to be understood by people in her daily life and how people assume she's a transvestite. i said "kiddo, you're preaching to the choir. i understand your frustration, even though i'm not a transsexual".

i told her "i've come to realize people aren't interested in changing their uneducated views because with that new knowledge they would also have to restructure their entire belief system from top to bottom. they know the difference between a 'conservative democrat' and a 'liberal republican' and the difference between the 'american baseball league' and the 'national baseball league', but knowing the difference between a transsexual and a transvestite is akin to accepting DARWIN'S theory as fact. that knowledge would unravel the foundation of their faith. i'm not their teacher, they are mine".

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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

TO TELL THE TRUTH

yes, you are absolutely right. MARIAH did have the best album of the year and BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN was the best picture of the year... but why are you surprised when "the best" isn't awarded as such? we live in a society of hypocrisy and denial. having witnessed our society from both inside and outside the box, i can list hundreds of examples in our collective behavior that are completely contradicting.

the best that each of us can do is to be honest. be authentic with your voice.

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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

THE GREAT WHITE WAY

after the gym today, me and MICHELLE VISAGE had lunch and fantasized about the revivals we'd love to co-produce on BROADWAY. we laughed so hard, we almost lost our lunch! here's a short list of the shows we want to, er um, mount:

1. OKLAHOMO!
2. CAROLINE OR SEX CHANGE
3. ANNIE GET YOUR CUM
4. A STREET HOOKER NAMED DESIRE
5. PURLIE NECKLACE
6. THE JIZZ
7. PHANTOM OF THE PRE-OP
8. SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE & STEVE & JASON
9. CREAMGIRLS
10.SCAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF

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AND THE AWARD GOES TO...

three of my costars in "the rupaul movie project" were big winners at this year's GAYVN awards.

MICHAEL LUCAS picked up awards for:
Best DVD Extras/Special Edition Dangerous Liaisons
Best Pro/Am Release Michael Lucas' Auditions 4,
Best Screenplay Tony DiMarco — Dangerous Liaisons,
Best Supporting Actor Kent Larson — Dangerous Liaisons
Best Picture (tie) Dangerous Liaisons(Lucas Entertainment)
& Chi Chi's Wrong Side of the Tracks 1-2(Rascal Video)

OWEN HAWK cinched:
Best Specialty Release
Mutiny (Dark Alley Media)

GUS MATTOX earned the coveted:
Performer of the Year

the brilliant CHI CHI LaRUE was awarded BEST DIRECTOR for "wrong side of the tracks".
for a full list of the winners click here.

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Monday, March 13, 2006

BETWEEN THE MOON AND NEW YORK CITY

mercury's retrograde reared it's ugly head again yesterday during our journey back to MANHATTAN. we had to deplane in DALLAS on account of, you guessed it, mechanical difficulties. hours later, we were up and flying, but i had two 8 year old boys sitting behind me, who were jacked up on way too much free COCA-COLA. thank the lord for my IPOD! i pumped EARTH, WIND & FIRE at full blast. life is good.

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Saturday, March 11, 2006

THE LAST TIME I WAS IN TAHOE

from door to door, it took us 15 hours to get from NEW YORK CITY to LAKE TAHOE, NEVADA. our connecting flight in DALLAS had mechanical difficulties and was delayed by several hours. from BIG D we flew to RENO, NEVADA, where a car service drove us the one hour to TAHOE. too bad we didn't have a 4X4 because the roads were covered in snow.

the last time i was in TAHOE was 1974. i'll never forget it because while en route, my dad almost ran over a deer at 75 MPH. i was sitting in the front seat and i could swear me and the deer made eye contact before he ran off into the woods. we were all very shaken by the experience, but probably not as much as the deer was.

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Thursday, March 09, 2006

A SPIRITUAL BEING HAVING A HUMAN EXPERIENCE

i feel fantastic! it feels like the sun has come out for the first time in months. my dear friend MIKE MATTINGLY has a theory about winter time for scorpios, and i believe it's true. he writes:

Dear Ru,
 
Hey..I enjoyed your hibernation musings. I support the theory that each person's energy peaks during the month of their birth sign when the sun enters their birth house and then rapidly dwindles as the sun exits. This effect occurs over several months. For we Scorpios this means October is full of anticipation/joy, November is the culmination of our entire year, and December and January are black holes of dead energy.
 
 I have begun to keep a diary to document this during various years in my life. I have noticed that approx. January 15-20 I hit rock bottom in a bizarre fashion, literally I become dazed. The past 5 years in a row this occurred so now I know not to fear it. Spring is ultra-rejuvenating for Scorpio, the sign of death and darkness which loves to celebrate another cycle of survival.

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Wednesday, March 08, 2006

THE _HO_ MUST GO ON

we post my upcoming nightclub dates in the NEWS section of my website after the contracts have been signed and the arrangements have been made. sometimes, a venue will start to promote my appearance before a deal is struck, which they are contractually not allowed to do. in most of those cases the details are eventually ironed out and the gig happens as planned, but on the rare occasion when a venue has promoted my appearance and the negotiations later fall through, it puts me in a very precarious position.

that's what happened last year when PROMOTER A couldn't close the deal within the window of time i require before the show date. PROMOTER B was able to close the deal (for the very same date, but in another city) in a timely fashion and i chose to go there. of course, rather than say he botched the negotiations, PROMOTER A told people that i had "cancelled" the gig, making me the bad guy. in my 24 years of show business, i'm proud to say i have NEVER cancelled a show.

in ISRAEL, my show was postponed one week because my luggage was lost, and in PHOENIX, my outdoor show was cancelled because of a windstorm, but i have never - ever cancelled a show on my own volition. in 1988, after a saturday night coke binge, i awoke to incessant banging on my door by the stage manager of the musical i was doing. seems i had forgotten that we had a 3:pm sunday matinee. they held the curtain for 20 minutes. at 3:21pm i was on my mark. i don't cancel shows.

i love what i do and i don't take this work for granted. the fact that people still want to come and see me perform is a great gift to me and i am forever grateful. if you've heard that i'm appearing somewhere, check in the NEWS section of my website first. if it's posted there, that means it's a done deal. if it's not posted, it could be that my agent and the promoter are still in negotiations.

and oh, my coke binge days are behind me. today, my only vices now are DOLPH LUNDGREN movies and roasted, unsalted sunflower seeds from TRADER JOE'S.

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A QUICK READ

the chalkboard sign out in front of THE DUPLEX in SHERIDAN SQUARE read "Yanni, wasn't your music assaulting enough!".

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Tuesday, March 07, 2006

FREEZING REESE'S PIECES

next time you see the clip of REESE accepting her OSCAR, check out the severely botoxed area between her eyebrows.

SUPREME DYNASTY

the TV commercial for THIS MOVIE showed only a split second of HIS FACE , but that was more than enough for this fan to clock him as son of THE BOSS .

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Monday, March 06, 2006

HOLLYWOOD HIGH

i had already planned on recording THE OSCARS when my engineer called to cancel our studio session for the evening. with my night now free, the lure of watching the awards ceremony live was never even remotely tempting. i've learned from years of experience, it's much better to watch a recording so you can fast-forward through the boring parts.

with my DVD set to record, i was off to the movies. i figured i would have the cineplex to myself on OSCAR night, and indeed i did. i saw NANNY McPHEE, which i really enjoyed (except i felt 5 of the 7 children looked too american for this english fairy tale). the theater was empty just the way i like it.

with the exception of the new CATE BLANCHETT film last week, i hadn't been to the movies in months. in fact, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN was the last thing i saw in a movie house. that experience left me vowing to never return until they put headphone jacks in the armrests.

can you imagine having to tell the people a few seats over to "please be quiet" in a moody, quiet film like BROKEBACK? well, that's exactly what i had to do. by the time i even mustered up enough gumption to finally say something, i was steaming mad. they were carrying on a full conversation like it was their friggin' living room!

fuck that shit, i'd much rather see a movie at home. plus, the real reason i go to the movies is for the popcorn, and that shit has way too many freakin' calories. i'm better off a home!

by the time i got back home, the ceremony was ending. perfect! i watched a 4 hour show in an hour and a half. the only time i rewinded was during LAUREN BACALL'S stammering intro to the FILM NOIR montage and when JENNIFER GARNER slipped on her dress and almost bit it. yes, i'm evil... i know.

winners? losers? whatever. by the time you make it to that room, you're already a winner. my favorite moments... the mock campaign commercials and LILY & MERYL.

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Saturday, March 04, 2006

CRITTERS

yes, thank you all. now i know that dogs, cats, elephants and rats are among the many mammals that don't go into hibernation.

BROTHERS

in my ongoing quest to collect everything GIBB, i found THIS WEBSITE that has answered many questions i've had about their body of work. also check out BARRY'S WEBSITE for a glimpse into the life of "jesus of camel toe".

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Friday, March 03, 2006

CHECK OUT THIS DIANA SITE!


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Thursday, March 02, 2006

COMING OUT

yesterday, my trainer told me that humans are the only mammals that don't go into hibernation. i don't know if that's true, but i've instinctively gone into hibernation every winter since landing on this planet. i think most people know that about me. it also explains my low profile on my weblog... i just don't feel like "putting out" right now. during the winter months, especially now that i'm back on the EAST COAST, it's more about staying "inside" and recharging my battery.

plus, folks are gonna see enough of my ashy black ass during the spring and summer when i'll be out promoting the projects i'm currently working on. i saw a rough cut of "the movie" on tuesday and i couldn't be happier. it is funny as hell! LaHOMA fucking rocks the casbah, and LADY BUNNY is bound to be "put away" after the movie is released. CANDIS CAYNE pretty much steals the picture right out from under me, but a re-edit will fix that! (just kidding... sort of). and oh my dear, there are so many gratuitous, fat, juicy cock scenes in the movie, i can barely contain myself!

people have been asking about the 2 albums i'm working on. one is the remix album, which will feature songs from my back catalog and brand new songs. the other album is a soundtrack for the movie. the movie does have a name, but i won't divulge it until the spring.

i went out to BROOKLYN last night to watch PROJECT RUNWAY at ALISON'S house. everytime i see SANTINO RICE, i fall more and more in love with him. he is such a fucking star! he is the sexiest man on TV... well, him and that african guy on LOST (the one that used to be on OZ).

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