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Monday, July 29, 2002 Ru's surgery went very well and was a success.Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Joelle . | Permalink A NEW SAN DIEGOfor years i’ve been trying to replace my old childhood memories of san diego with new ones, and i think i’ve succeeded in doing that with the trip i made down there this past saturday. it was gay pride weekend in “america’s finest city” and i had a gig at a club called MONTAGE. i wanted to make it an extravaganza, so i invited my friends tom trujillo (a very talented singer/songwriter) and raja (the best “rupaul” impersonator i’ve ever seen) to be my special guest stars. all seven of us arrived at my sister’s house, in the 30 ft. R.V. rented especially for this trip , just in time for lunch. renetta served tacos and rice and beans from the same restaurant that our father used to take us to thirty years ago. it was worth breaking my diet for. renetta lives in the house that i grew up in, so it was extra special that i got to share my past life with my new friends. our hotel was in the completely renovated downtown area. all the street names were the same, but i didn’t recognize any of the buildings. there were lots of loft spaces to live in, and tons of interesting eatery’s. it was definitely not the san diego that i remember. i can’t wait to tell my therapist about my breakthrough. you see because, for years i couldn't enter the city limits without getting nauseated. i’d cross the county line and i’d start to feel like i couldn’t breathe, but now i think that’s all over with. the show saturday night was a stone gas, honey! i had a wonderful time. the club was packed to the rafters and there wasn’t a moment that i didn’t feel love coming from the audience. my favorite part of the show was bringing my sisters renae and renetta, my niece morgan and my nephew scott up on stage with me. i almost started to cry, i was so happy. i totally feel a major shift happening in my emotional evolution, and that’s good. my next hurdle ? DATING. LOVE POWER five hours from now, joelle will be here to drive me to the hospital for my surgery. i’m gonna ask them to knock me out before they roll me down the hallway to the operating room. i think i would get scared if i had to be awake while they transported me. i’ll be in surgery today from 8:30 a.m. until 11:30 a.m. pacific standard time. please send me your love energy. i’ll get joelle to post a status report on my weblog after my procedure, to let you know how everything went. my next weblog post will probably be a week from now. i love you, ru. . | Permalink My Dearest RuPaul, The two old muppets that sit on the balcony are Statler (the one with the unibrow) and Waldorf (the one with the white mustache). Statler: You know, this show really improves with age! Waldorf: Why? Because the jokes get better? Statler: No! Because my hearing gets worse! Love your blog, Rouge Your Royal Ru-Ness -- The names of those two muppets are Statler and Waldorf (just think, you've probably spent the night in both of them!). Something tells me that you and whoever you take along to the d.j. booth at Peanuts are a lot easier on the eyes, though. Just the same, you're so very right about needing to preserve that critical subversive homegrown factor in this increasingly plastic country, to which I can only say: God save the Queens. Speaking of which, if you haven't seen the Cockettes documentary yet, get your long legs movin' toward the door. It's well worth the trip and the time.Best of luck with the surgery. I'll be thinking of you, as I'm sure will a lot of your other fans. Hanne RuPaul, Hello! The old guy heckler muppets names were Statler (the thinner one) and Waldorf (the wider one). I read a blurb in the May issue of FLAUNT magazine about Kenny Scharf's cartoon series The Groovenians in which you lend your voice to the character Champagne Courvoisier! (How exciting is that?!) Have you heard anything as to when this will air? I've searched several times with no luck of finding any mention of it anywhere. Isn't Nina Hagen amazing? Have you ever seen Love Stories, the documentary about the artists Pierre et Gilles? She has some really interesting things to say in it. She's a remarkable lady. And speaking of remarkable, I'm so glad you are frequently updating your weblog again. Your words never fail to brighten my day. You are so talented and funny! I wish there was a 24 hour RU Network! Best of luck with your back surgery! Love and happiness, Matt Ru, You are the most beautiful woman in the world. I listen to your music every day, watch your movies every night, and visit your weblog whenever I'm near a computer. I was recently fired from my job because I refused to remove your picture from my cubicle wall but I don't care, because I don't want to be around anyone who doesn't love & respect you as much as I do. -Marc . | Permalink Saturday, July 27, 2002 LUBE JOBi saw a billboard last night advertising JIFFY LUBE. the slogan read “lube it or lose it”. i was shocked and amused beyond belief. i asked my friend jack if he thought the billboard was exclusive to the predominantly queer area we were in and he said no, that he’d seen the ad all over town. i love it ! it’s funny how our culture is so obsessed with the penis, just look at the washington monument . now i know where i’m going to get my next lube job, and i’m sure the jiffy lube center has plenty of parking in the rear. tee hee. . | Permalink Friday, July 26, 2002 AMERICAN IDOL CHATTERsimon cowell is great because he gives the contestants on the hit fox tv show AMERICAN IDOL a real taste of: a) what it’s like to hear an honest non biased opinion b) what it’s like when you put yourself out there for the sometimes brutal scrutiny of casting directors and record execs. the contest is really all about justin and tamyra. the only question then is, whether they will choose a boy or a girl. everytime i see justin, i just want to spend the rest of my life in bed with him. people choose their favorite pop stars because they either want to be them or they want to fuck them. PEANUT GALLERY me and my friend jack went to PEANUTS for the drag show tonight. i just love it so much there. the place is downright seedy and subversive, and i feel as americans we must preserve that. everytime i go there, i bring a friend and we sit in the d.j. booth where we inevitably feel like those two old guys who sit in the balcony on the MUPPET SHOW. does anybody know what those two muppets names are ? . | Permalink UNIVERSAL RADIOthe first time i ever heard a nina hagen record (yes, it was vinyl), i fell in love with her immediately. the album was called NUN SEX MONK ROCK, and her voice exemplified everything i was feeling that summer of ‘82. i continued to worship her as the years rolled by, ultimately being rewarded with a chance meeting, six years ago, in front of SAL’S PIZZA at the corner of avenue a and 7th st. in the east village, nyc. and it was to my delight that she and i started an internet dialog, via SHe-mail, earlier this year. this week i got a message from her saying that she would be leaving germany on a tour that would sweep through southern california and that she would love to hook up with me. wow! nina hagen wants to hook up with me! what a dream come true! you live long enough, and all sorts of wild, incredible things happen to you. i’m so jazzed about spending some time with her. she’s so unpretentious and wise and funny. i had to let her know that i will be in post-operation mode, and that i had no idea what my state of mind or physical state would be, so be prepared for anything. nina hagen usa dates click here | Permalink Tuesday, July 23, 2002 MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALLme and my friend tom went over to a club in west hollywood called MICKEY’S tonight to catch their drag revue entitled DREAMGIRLS. i would normally not go to that club, but we wanted to make it a night of drag shows, since the newly reopened club PEANUTS has it’s monday night drag-a-thon, too. it was fun to see the girls again, after the dry spell that followed the closing of ...shit! ...i can’t even remember the name of it. CUPPING (NOTHING TO DO WITH FARTS) my acupuncturist has been also doing a technique called CUPPING on me. it’s very effective, but it hurts like hell. i mean it really, really hurts. what he does is, he takes this device that looks like one of those penis enlarger pumps and connects it to these little glass cups (the circumference of a silver dollar). he then places the the whole thing on my lower back and begins to attach the cups to my skin by sucking the air out of the cups using this contraption. after he has attached about seven cups to my back and left butt cheek, he leaves them on there for about fifteen minutes. it feels like someone is pinching me very hard. then he comes back into the room and removes each cup. now this is where the real pain starts. he takes what looks like a toothbrush with tacks on it instead of bristles and spanks the places that were suctioned with this S/M toothbrush, until they bleed. OUCH! DOUBLE OUCH!!! the idea is to relieve the stagnation in that area. it sounds crazy, but it works ! after i do it, i don’t have to take the pain relievers as often (for the two days following the cupping). the most fucked up thing is that after doing this for the past two weeks , my back looks like a war zone. i’m all bruised from the process. THERE’S A LIGHT...OVER AT THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE i’m so happy about my surgery date next monday, july 29th. finally, an end to chronic pain. finally, a light at the end of the tunnel. WHAT BECOMES A LEGEND MOST ? ...AN URBAN LEGEND. when i was in high school, the urban legend that made everybody forget about the woman being strangled in the studio as the OHIO PLAYERS recorded LOVE ROLLERCOASTER (another urban legend), was the one about ROD STEWART being rushed to the hospital to have his stomach pumped. as legend would have it, the contents of his stomach contained nearly a gallon of semen. . . | Permalink Monday, July 22, 2002 ROD STEWARTi’ve just rediscovered the fantastic and grossly overlooked album that rod stewart released a little over a year ago called HUMAN. it was one of my top five albums of 2001. it really upset me that something so great could be so ignored. you could probably pick it up at a used cd store for very little money. shortly after it bombed, warner bros. dropped him from their roster. hey, does anybody remember the urban legend about rod stewart ? . Dear Rupaul, I am such a huge fan of your work. You bring so much warmth, humor, sex and power to everything you set out to accomplish. I was very eager to check out your all-time favorite male porn stars. LOL. It seems your #7 choice, Colby Taylor, is also my #1 choice. I met him sometime back in 2000. He is very charming and actually really kindhearted, gentle and warm! Anyhoo, i am writing to you after seeing your appearance on The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn. I loved you, of course! But I feel Mr. Kilborn needs to get a few facts in order, as well as, ease up on the homophobic tendencies he displays often. 1. He introduced Ru as a cross-dresser. Wrong! You are one of the world's leading Drag Queens. 2. Kilborn seemed very uneasy when you mentioned you would write about him on your weblog. He instead preferred that you "just skip over him." 3. Kilborn remained yet again uneasy, and slightly grossed out when you mentioned your top male porn stars. Hmm? If you were a young Hollywood heterosexual male espousing yoru favorite female porn stars, well then, i'm sure he would've had no qualms. 4. The Dennis Rodman-RuPaul "odd' characterization I felt was totally unnecessary. What, does he figure because you are queer and Rodman is wild, that qualifies as odd? 5. Kilborn definitely became unnerved upon your suggestion that he try out the tongue-action himself. Ru, i would never try to take away from your amazing guest appearance, but mr. Kilborn needs to lighten up! We queers are all over the map in Los Angeles. Keep on doing what you do best! I'll keep watching! love and much respect, Marquis | Permalink Saturday, July 20, 2002 LATE, LATE SHOWi enjoyed doing “the late, late show with craig kilborn”, although earlier in the day it looked like it wasn’t going to happen. all talk shows insist that guests do a pre-interview with a segment producer before the actual taping of the show. i wasn’t available to do a pre-interview, so they called my office and said that they would cancel my appearance if i didn’t do it. well, i really want to promote this movie , so i finally obliged via cell phone in between my appointments, even though i am fundamentally opposed to the procedure. i feel that after the basic information is gathered, the live interview should unfold organically like sexual intercourse. sex can be very boring and predictable if every move is plotted and premeditated. the viewing audience should be privy to every twist and turn that the interaction takes on. the actual interview went well and we did create some interesting moments, like when we talked about " merkin " and the "dirty sanchez" ( two sexual references that appeal to a warped sense of humor ). . | Permalink Thursday, July 18, 2002 MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE MALE PORN STARS1) mark kroner circa ‘95 - ‘02 2) daryl brock circa ‘93 - ‘98 3) mike nichols circa ‘94 - ‘02 4) marc davis [straight films] circa ‘93 - ‘02 5) alex wilcox circa ‘99 - ‘01 6) rod majors circa ‘93 - 95 7) colby taylor circa ‘95 - ‘02 8) sam crockett circa ‘96 - ‘02 9) jon vincent circa ‘87 - ‘93 10) john davenport circa ‘87 - ‘89 11) anthony gallo circa ‘95 - ‘01 12) thom barron circa ‘96 - ‘99 13) marcus iron circa ‘99 - ‘02 14) jared wright circa ‘95 - ‘96 15) tom steele circa ‘87 - ‘91 . | Permalink Monday, July 15, 2002 LADY FOOT LOCKERHello... I was hoping you could satisfy my curiosity. What do you do with your breasts when you dress as a man? Thanks, Turtle hi turtle, when i dress as a man, i put my "breasts" back in the sock drawer where they belong. rupaul. . | Permalink Sunday, July 14, 2002 GREASE IS THE WORD!late the other night i was driving down sunset blvd. when i came to a stop light at the corner of alvarado street. i then casually looked over at the “burrito king” sign and saw a word that i had never seen before in my entire life. a word that would change my life immeasurably. the word hypnotized me as i stared at it. i wasn’t even sure how long i had been sitting at the green light when someone finally honked at me to move on. on the way home, all i could think about was that word, that word, that word!!! it’s been a few days now and i’m still captivated by the sheer brilliance of that word. i’m completely awe struck by the genius of the person who came up with the word. ladies and gentleman, the word is ... MEXICATESSEN. . | Permalink Friday, July 12, 2002 PERFECT, BOOK ME !today i saw a third neurosurgeon in my quest to get the herniated disk in my lower back taken care of. there were three things that made me feel secure enough to book my surgery with him: a) he’s the chief of neurology at ceders-sinai. b) he’s jewish (as my friend ilene reminded me, jewish doctors are very empathetic). c) the picture on the wall of him standing at the hospital bedside of elizabeth taylor with her head shaved, just days after he removed a tumor from her brain. he told me that he wanted to operate as soon as possible, because it’s a very large herniation that could cause further problems the longer i wait. i told him that i had to wait until after my gig in san diego on the 27th of july. he said “fine, i’ll book you for the 29th” then he said “you’ll have to stop taking pain killers for five days before surgery because they thin your blood”. i told him that i couldn’t even be standing in this office right now if i wasn’t on celebrex (anti inflammatory) and ultracet (non narcotic pain reliever), less long perform in san diego the saturday before surgery. he then told me that he would check on those drugs (to see if they indeed thin the blood), otherwise he would have to schedule me for august. am i scared ? yes, a little. what if they fuck up my spine and i never sashay again ? what if the san diego show is my last ? (kinda ironic, san diego being my birthplace and all) what if they accidentally put breast implants in my ass cheeks ? but if i don’t do the procedure, i’m more scared of remaining in the kind of intense pain i’ve endured for the past three months. plus, everybody i’ve talked to said that they’ve had complete success with the micro-disectomy. i really should have asked the doctor about removing a couple of my ribs while he was up inside of me. and then having them cooked, marinated and smothered in barbecue sauce, ready and waiting for me when i wake up. yum! | Permalink KING OF POOPeverytime a “journalist” writes about michael jackson, they describe him as “the self-proclaimed king of pop”. they never refer to muhammad ali as “the self-proclaimed greatest of all time” or james brown as “the self-proclaimed godfather of soul”, because there is no doubt that ali is, in fact, “the greatest” and that j.b. is definitely “the godfather”. now, is there anyone else in the universe who can claim to be “the king of pop” and get away with it ? no, michael jackson is the only artist who can sit on that throne. so why do “self-proclaimed journalist” do that ? i can only guess that they have an ax to grind or they’re just mad that they didn’t get to dub him “the king” themselves. maybe it’s just indicative of how our culture builds people up just to tear them down (not that m.j.j. needed any help being torn down). over the years we’ve all witnessed michael lose alot of things ...i.e. respect, integrity, cartilage, pigment, but it will be quite a long time before someone else can claim to be “the king of pop”. long live the king ! . | Permalink Wednesday, July 10, 2002 GOOD GOLLY MISS DOLLYtonight, i made a special trip over to the virgin mega-store just to get dolly parton’s new album called HALOS AND HORNS. i listened to it on the way home and boy ...it’s fantastic!!! i’m prayin’ i get to see her on her first tour in ten years, when she plays the house of blues here in hollywood. i just hope my back operation doesn’t get in the way of me seeing her show. over the years, i’ve met every star i’ve ever wanted to meet...all except for dolly. i’ve spoken to her on the phone before, but never in person. this concert just may be my opportunity. click here for a list of dolly’s tour dates. | Permalink Thursday, July 04, 2002 MY OTHER FAVORITE MOVIE LIST 1) wild at heart 2) nine to five 3) all of me 4) blue velvet 5) the exorcist 6) cleopatra jones 7) the empire strikes back 8) an affair to remember 9) soapdish 10) glitter MY OLD LIST OF FAVORITE MOVIES 1) the wizard of oz 2) grease 3) mommie dearest 4) elvira, mistress of the dark 5) nashville 6) who’s afraid of virginia woolf 7) lady sings the blues 8) the rocky horror picture show 9) what’s up doc ? 10) chinatown . | Permalink Tuesday, July 02, 2002 SPIRITS HAVING FLOWNthanks to all y’all who’ve sent me good lovin and healing energy for my backache and shit. your love has really made a difference in lifting my spirits. AMERICAN IDOL my friend tom has been taping the fox-tv show called AMERICAN IDOL and bringing it over to my house to watch. i am so addicted to it, i could just pop! my favorite contender is justin guarini . MY NEW UPDATED FAVORITE MOVIES LIST 1) the matrix 2) crouching tiger hidden dragon 3) happiness 4) sordid lives 5) moulin rouge 6) big business 7) monsoon wedding 8) seems like old times 9) showgirls 10) the naked gun trilogy . | Permalink 2009 RuCo, Inc.—All Rights Reserved |
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