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Thursday, February 28, 2002 LADY LOLAmichelle visage gave birth to her second daughter in two years last night. welcome to the planet, lola. if i were babysitting you right now, i'd pack you up and take you to taz's house to see cher on letterman. your uncle ru loves you. . | Permalink THE GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOPPERSin the movies, when a ship is sinking, the lifeboats are for women and children first. but, who would be allowed on the lifeboats first on a gay cruise ? lipstick lesbians and the nellier than thou ? butch bottoms and the fem tops ? drag queens and boy toys ? this occurred to me sometime during the middle of my five days aboard the MS EXSTACY. . | Permalink Thursday, February 21, 2002 MEXICAN GAY LOVE BOATtomorrow morning i’ll fly to mazatlan-mexico to board the gay love boat, where i will probably hide in my room until i perform two shows on saturday night. wouldn’t it be fabulous if i came back with stories of me performing private shows in my cabin all day and night, wearing only a pussycat wig and a pair of highheels ? maybe i’ll meet that special ladykins at the captains table...ahoy! in true C.P. TIME fashion, i waited until yesterday to put my show mini-disc together, using the protools program on my computer. i’ve added FREE TO BE and BACK TO MY ROOTS to the set. i haven’t performed those songs in years. here is the set list : 1. INTRO 2. IF YOU WERE A WOMAN 3. A LITTLE BIT OF LOVE 4. FREE TO BE 5. A SHADE SHADY (costume change interlude) 6. ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH ? 7. I NEED MORE 8. MONOLOGUE/FUCK WITH AUDIENCE 9. FOXY LADY (costume change) 10. RAP MEDLEY (ice ice baby-push it- i’ll house you) 11. HOUSE OF LOVE 12. BACK TO MY ROOTS 13. TRIBALMODEL (costume change interlude) 14. SUPERMODEL 15. SNAPSHOT REMIX . TREASURES of the 4000 compact discs i own, here is a list of the ones i gagged over when i discovered them in my travels. they’re all very rare to find on cd. 1. BARRY GIBB - NOW VOYAGER 2. DIONNE WARWICK - HOW MANY TIMES CAN WE SAY GOODBYE ? 3. SHEILA & B. DEVOTION - KING OF THE WORLD 4. KENNY RODGERS - EYES THAT SEE IN THE DARK 5. DONNA SUMMER - C&C MIXES OF LOVE’S ABOUT TO CHANGE 6. DOLLY PARTON - THE GREAT PRETENDER 7. DYNASTY - THE SECOND ADVENTURE HERE IS A LIST OF WHAT I’M STILL LOOKING FOR ON CD : 1. CHIC - SOUP FOR ONE - SOUNDTRACK 2. DIANA ROSS - TO LOVE AGAIN 3. MUNICH MACHINE - BODYSHINE 4. MOVING PICTURES - WHAT ABOUT ME? 5. SISTER SLEDGE - WHEN THE BOYS MEET THE GIRLS . | Permalink Wednesday, February 20, 2002 I GET SHe-MAILSRuPaul, I don't wanna write "retarded" across my forehead.....but I'm totally in the dark when you use the word "SNATCHED"..........Is this a drag term I've managed to miss? or is it a Afro-American term that I've missed? Marvin marvin, "snatched" means that a persons look is really pulled together. a body can be snatched from working out at the gym. a face can be snatched from visiting dr. hoefflin. ru. Ru, It was so great to talk to you last nite- like being a member of a club where everyone understands my humor and can relate to a 37 yr old man counting the number of times Cher licks her lips and flips her hair on any given day. Get the knot tied in the blondage,girl! Can we talk for a moment about Bachelor#1 Mario Lopez? Is he a member of our choir? A latte sippin disco dancin Streisand ticket holdin friend of Dorothy's? What da dealie yo? The mid morning talk show "The Other Half" he hosts with Dick Clark and the most stank annoying human on this earth next to Devil Head Bush, Danny Bonaduce, is slipping worse than a bad facelift. I have to place mi corazon Mario along with The Rock, Prince Naseem Hamed, & Jorge Posada in the "They wont make the movie you WANT to see file".Mario seems like such a sweetie and Im sure he gets more pussy than 9Lives but one can dream ,rite? Any Mario sightings lately in La La Land? do tell. Going to buy the Cher album at HMV for the bonus track and to make sure she gets her .00001% royalty payment. "Living Proof" has really grown on me and I love almost all tracks. The girls at titty bar agree. Randy wrote me back and expressed interest in the footage I have from Slimelight. Larry Tee was on page 6 of the NY post today for playing "SuperModel" at his Lux club when Naomi Campbell walked in which promptly caused Missy to high tail outta there. OOPS! I caught a couple of seconds of Live! with Regis and Kelly the other day and didnt think it humanly possible to find a more stank clueless fembot than La Gifford but it looks as if they have succeeded with Kelly the Ripa. OY! What a windbag shicksa- Cue the sniper. God what a delicious fantasy we had with "If I Ruled the Oscars" Ladies and Gentlemen of the Academy for your Consideration: Best Actor: Rip Taylor for "Cheech & Chongs Things Are Tuff All Over" Best Actress: Lucille Ball for "Super Password Plus" Best Supporting Actor: Charles Nelson Reilly for Match Game '74 Best Supporting Actress: LaWanda Page for "Shakes The Clown" Best Director: Nancy Walker for "Cant Stop the Music" Lifetime Achievement Award: Farrah Fawcett for "Great Balls O' Comfort" Best Documentary : Johnny XtrvaGanza for Geraldo: The Agony & The Extacy . Girl I could go on ............. Keep on doing what you do best- Lurve Tennessee. . | Permalink Tuesday, February 19, 2002 CLUB VANITY ...INSANITYmr. nasty pants was go-go dancing at the club again last night. he wore a different pair of nasty pants that were more nasty than the ones he wore last week. i asked him where he got those nasty pants and he told me that a friend in new york made them. there's no way i could describe what nasty pants look like and still do them justice (check out my description from last tuesday). i would sure love a pair of those nasty pants in my ...future. . | Permalink HABLEMOS DEL AMORi spent the afternoon recording a song in spanish. i don’t speak spanish (can barely speak english), so the correct pronunciation was fed to me phonetically. it was fun and a bit of a challenge, since the man feeding me spanish had an italian accent. A HIDEOUS COCK don’t go to see A BEAUTIFUL MIND, it’s awful. somebody has been reading their academy award handbook on how to brainwash people into thinking they’re watching an important film. russell crowe’s performance is so contrived that i wanted to throw my own shit at the screen. every sappy moment was underlined with this heartfelt background music that insulted my intelligence. jennifer connelly is absolutely beautiful beyond belief here, but that’s still not enough to make it worth the torture of watching this bore-athon. . | Permalink Monday, February 18, 2002 FRIDAY NIGHT CLUBHOPPINGme and mathu tagged along with kc as he went clubhopping to promote his new nightclub called VANITY (monday nights @ hollywood and schrader blvds). we went to THE LODGE in north hollywood and passed out invites until they asked us to leave. then we tipped over to APACHE and danced for 30 minutes before heading to THE QUEEN MARY in studio city. none of the clubs are too keen on outside promoters using their club as a forum. but, so what, we got the job done. then we headed to the YUKON MINING COMPANY, which is a diner that (in my opinion) has the worst food i’ve ever tried to eat. everybody goes there for the atmosphere, which is trannies and nightcrawlers. we left there and went to my house, where we played music and talked until 6:am. (NOT SO) SECRET OBSESSION i have a soft spot for jean-claude van damme movies (did i say soft?). it’s always fun to predict not if, but when he will reveal his naked body in the course of the film. he does it in every movie, i know cause i own most of them (i own alot of dolph lundgren saga’s too). van damme is one star who knows where his bread is buttered and gives his audience exactly what we want...his big beautiful fat ass. saturday night i watched his straight to video epic REPLICANT and he didn’t disappoint. i also watched TOMCATS starring that cutie jerry o’connell (he has 2 backal nude shots-teehee), and i watched BEDAZZLED starring the munchable brendan fraser and the gorgeous liz hurley. miss hurley has completely morphed herself into a modern day joan collins, which is totally brilliant. THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE vs. TITANIC i’m starting to get anxious about the gay cruise i will be boarding and performing on this week in mexico. not because of some irwin allen movie i’ve seen, but because of the feeling of being trapped with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. i’ve never taken a cruise before and i don’t know what to expect. plus, contrary to popular belief, i'm not a people person.... well, maybe just a little bit, but not for prolonged periods of time. . | Permalink Friday, February 15, 2002 I'M NOT A "TS" .... BUT I PLAY ONE ON T.V.it tickles the shit out of me, when i get e-mails from folks who think they know what i'm all about. don't get it twisted. if the truth be told, i'm a living fucking dichotomy. i'm all for gay rights and womens rights, but there are plenty of sissies and bitches i'd like to slap the fuck out of. i'm all for the rights of animals, but you try and snatch that buffalo wing outa my hand and you'll probably find my leather boot up your ass. if you had a conversation with me twenty years ago at a nightclub, and based on a blog i wrote yesterday, you think i'm not being "myself"...well, think again. twenty years ago, i would have done or said whatever i thought you wanted me to do or say, just so you would like me. i've changed. people think that once i became famous i immediately got my shit together and assumed the position of a role model. fuck that shit. i'm not perfect and i don't want to be. my goal is to stay true to myself, and my truth can change hourly. i'm trying to make heads or tails out of the same shit you're dealing with. only now, i'm cutting myself huge breaks left and right. i'm also cutting you breaks, too. if you make a boo boo, that's ok mommy, i ain't mad at'cha.... but, ain't nothing i can't stand more than a righteous motherfucker. . | Permalink SMOKE AND MIRRORSjust finished an all day photo session with mathu andersen. he did the make-up, hair, wardrobe and shot the film (talk about your one stop shopping). the test polariods are amazing, so i'm really excited about the real film. we did 4 different looks with 4 different hair colors. it amazes the shit out of me that an old dude like me can (hire someone to) pull it together and still look fuckin' foxy as hell. sometimes i'll look at a picture of me up in drags and i'll say to myself...damn, is that me? that motherfuckin' bitch is hot!!! but then i get real and remember that i'm beat, pushed, pulled, tucked, cinched, snatched and lit within and inch of my life. the photo's are for a project that i'm not ready to blab about, so y'all just gonna have to wait a lil' while. . | Permalink Wednesday, February 13, 2002 ALONE...NOT LONELYit frightens me that i’m able to spend so much time by myself. i went to the movies tonight to see THE SHIPPING NEWS. i used my screen actors guild membership card to get in for free during nomination season. i actually prefer going to the movies alone. the film is worth seeing just for CATE BLANCHETT. she’s only in the first ten minutes but she fucking rocks the house. i feel like i’ve seen enough of KEVIN SPACEY to last a lifetime. throughout the film, i kept imagining what plastic surgery procedures i would perform on his face..eye job?...facelift ?...lipo? of course i wouldn’t touch JUDI DENCH. her face is perfect and so is her performance. i liked the movie, but it’s not for everyone. MARATHON MAN i like my new dentist, and not because he used to work on CHER (i mean, who hasn’t). i trust him and he has good energy. two weeks ago i had oral surgery and it was a trip and a half. my face swelled up and i had a black eye for a week. i’m not complaining, it had to be done. plus it’s the only oral stimulation i’ve had for longer than i’m willing to admit to. SALINE DIJON i finished my new CELINE DION compilation via ITUNES and i’m in heaven. i love her, she’s so wrong. i’m such a fag, i can adore someone and rag on them in the very same sentence. here’s a joke that LADY BUNNY tells: CELINE DION walks into a bar and the bartender asks her...why the long face? . | Permalink Tuesday, February 12, 2002 VANITY KILLSjust got back from club vanity at the corner of hollywood blvd. and schrader blvd. it was a blast! jazzmun, kc and viva put the night together and they did a great job. i told them that if they needed me to do anything to get the night going, i’ll be there. hollywood needs something like that to make it more exciting. the club is called vynil every other night of the week and it’s an awesome space. there was this male go-go dancer there that turned my shit out. he wore these pants that were the nastiest pants i’ve ever seen. needless to say, i gave him all my money (i’m a sucker for...and of ...a big dick in a tight pair of pants). i also ran into niki haris (what a great name) at the club tonight. she was there with a bunch of other kids who worked on madukey’s world tour (kc did madoodoo’s make-up on the drowned squirrel tour). niki told me that she enjoyed working with me before and can’t wait to do it again. i told her that i will hold her to her word. ps...as much as i would have loved to rag on demonna’s hbo show, i couldn’t because that shit blew me away. i loved it endlessly. . | Permalink Monday, February 11, 2002 FARRAH FAWCETT-MAJORStoday is my niece MORGAN’S birthday. i remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. i won’t give her age away, but here’s a clue: my sister RENETTA almost named her FARRAH. happy birthday MORGAN. UNCLE RU loves you. . | Permalink KATHY’S KLOWNsaturday night i got up in drags and sang DONNA SUMMER’S LAST DANCE with a live band. it was all part of KATHY NAJIMY’S surprise birthday bash, thrown by her husband DAN FINNERY. all her friends paid tribute and sang the songs that are kathy’s favorites. the show included KIRSTIE ALLEY, ELLEN DeGENERES, GLORIA STEINEM, MO GAFFNEY, KIRSTIN JOHNSON, MELISSA ETHERIDGE, JOELY FISHER, CAMERON MANHEIM, JANE KRACOWSKI, CHERI OTERI, ED BEGLEY JR. and more. i wore my new black human hair wig that looks like CHER’S hair on the cover of the album BELIEVE. it was a fun night, but i don’t think i will ever get used to driving a car while in full drag. it feels really weird like looking in the bathroom mirror when you’re tripping on acid. i usually travel in a taxi or a luxury van when i’m in drags (never a limo, yuck!) i came home and watched BLAZING SADDLES. the first time i saw that movie i was 13. my sister RENETTA took me and my friend ALVIN to see it and we were literally holding the sides of our stomachs and rolling in the aisles. i love MEL BROOKS movies and all the NAKED GUN movies. . | Permalink Saturday, February 09, 2002 SONG FOR THE LONELYi missed the debut of cher's new music video, a song for the lonely. (i don't have cable t.v) was the video any good? a girlfriend of mine is sending me a copy of ..mtv cribs featuring mariah. apparently it's out of control. i can't wait to see it. . | Permalink Friday, February 08, 2002 RuPaul,Please. For the love of waffles, you need to get help for this Maraih situation. It is not healthy I tell you. I am sure in your area there are support groups that deal with problems such as this all the time. I'm sure if alcoholics get help, there must be some for those who have fallen under the spell of vapid drama queens. If you need a support buddy, like a contact, I will be there for you. I will supply you with decent musical films, such as Fame! Doesn't that sound like more fun then Mariah pretending to be a normal girl, pretending to be a diva? Now, that's a lot of pretending. You can email me at all hours of the night, when you break out in cold sweats just thinking of popping one of her cds in. Just please, take care of yourself. Best Wishes, Corissa | Permalink BIRTHDAY GIRLWent to see the latest Nicole Kidman film tonight and I regret that i stayed until the end. Birthday Girl was predictable, unplausible and I didn't care enough about any of the characters to remain engaged. The only standout in the film was this actor , who I had seen the night before in the film Brotherhood of the Wolf. Brotherhood is a film that I did enjoy, although I had to sit through a lot of boring shit to get to the pay-off at the end. Tonight, I got up out of my seat and walked over to a couple seated to the side of the theater and politely asked...would y'all please be quiet? They said ...sure. . | Permalink Thursday, February 07, 2002 MARIAH CAREY K-HOLEmy obsession with mariah carey has reached an all-time high, these past two weeks. i think it has to do with my need to rally around the underdog. i'm a nonconformist, almost to a fault. i'll do the complete opposite of what, seemingly, everybody else is doing. i know that obsessing over mariah doesn't seem like a punk rock political statement, but trust me, it's quite a statement in the circles i run around in. i started liking mariah about 5 years ago, when she changed her image from long island lolita to hoochie mama extraordinaire. there was something so desperate and so wrong about her behavior at that time, that i was naturally attracted to her. the best stars are always the fabulous messy ones. the ones who wear their vulnerability on the outside for all to see. mariah fits the bill. i used to hate her guts, because on the two occasions we met, she was so shady. first time was at the rock and roll hall of fame awards banquet in nyc. i was seated at elton john's table, he was being inducted that year. she was seated at a table with bruce springsteen and her then husband. when mariah saw me, she eagerly waved me over to her table. by the time i got there her enthusiasm had changed to coldness. she barely said hello. did i mistakenly assume she was waving at me? i think not. i felt like a fool, victimized by some high school practical joke. the next time i encountered lambykins was at a fashion show. we were seated one chair apart from each other and again, she acted as if i were smeared with dog shit. i thought to myself...fuck you...you high yellow bitch! fast forward many years later, i find myself in a mariah carey k-hole (a k-hole is blackout associated with the drug called special k or ketamine). i can't get enough of her. last night me and my friend watched her opening scene in SPITTER, over and over, again and again, howling. i've bought every album, remix and video she has ever put out. playing them constantly, even though it's starting to annoy the shit out of my loved ones. i don't know when it's going to stop. could this blog post be a cry for help? . | Permalink Tuesday, February 05, 2002 THIS WEEK'S BEST EMAILSHello, My name is Natalie and I am 13, and stuck doing a report for black history month, and I feel that you are the one who most deserves it. I read your bio,you have over come many challenges in your life and you still came out on top. I would like to commend you for standing up and being who you are. Most of my friends are doing it on Martin Luther King, but I feel that you have accomplished more with your life that he accomplished in a life time. I would be pleased if you read this, and even more if you wrote me back. If not, I understand. Take care, Natalie This site is so funny. More people in the limelight should make web logs like this. I't would give the...er...commoners an insight to how they really are. I mean, until I read yours, for some reason I didn't think that people who have been on TV and in movies would rent movies and just sit on a couch and watch them. Stupid, huh? I always imagined them dressing as they look on screen, sort of lounging across extravagent couches made from the finest wood and covered in monkey fur only found in a small town in oogaboogaboogabooga in some dark corner of a jungle where no man has been, watching the movie beamed in by satellite to a 50 foot screen. (though if you DO do that...kickass. If you got it, flaunt it.) But you like Breakfast club...dude! :D I think you should get together with all the other people who are seen by the public as famous or icons. Then get them all to make weblogs. Once they all start doing it the tabloids will have no more reason to make scandalous comments about thier personal lives. Imagine: "Keanu in dolphin love scandal!" reports the Chicago Tribune. All the reader will be shocked. But in reality his weblog would save the day. "march 3rd 2002: Today I sat all day watching Dukes of Hazard on TV in my underwear." Ok, not the greatest of examples. "Keanu in secret Dukes underwear cult." .....it can go both ways. Anyways, I'll stop writing here cos...you've either clicked close by now or are writing a restraining order. Either way, if you do know anymore weblogs by people like yourself then please mail me back. I'd love to see them. Thanks for your time. Kaal, England. Dearest Rupaul, Hi my name is Tony, Im from Melbourne (Australia), have just turned 18 andam a mixture of Greek, Spanish and Italian and masculine. Ive alwayz wanted to ask u, and u only for advice, especially in how to enter showbiz. I have been told in past times by school teachers, friends even a strangers that I have what it takes to show myself to a camera, but their is alwayz something telling me that I aint good enough, no matter what they say..im not ugly, but i would never say gorgeous.Im only 5'8", have hazel eyez, olive skin, flawless teeth/smile, slim/tonedbody at 135-140lbs, dark features (i think), dark hair, waist "28-"30, shoe 44 and 9" long & just over 5" thick uncut..(does that specification reallymatter?). I dont know if any of this information will help but, Im justtrying anyway. I have expirienced from alot in the past... older relationships/sex (never prostitution), clubbing, partying, drinking,smoking,etc from age 12 which until the age of 16 was fire that couldnt beput out!! I loved my life & my luvd ones. Although I had my limits & kept itreal too. Until I became involved in a messed up realtionship wit some dumbass motherf*cker which caused me to loose that sexy 'fire', my family,friends and myself...yes I was traumatized..depressed...used..abused and 9 years too young! Maybe I was too easygoing? Gullible? Stupid? A lesson to belearnt!! And also was going to confess to Someone I have loved for 7 years but just to find that she's pregnant! Best description of this story would be da song by Luthervandros-Never too much. She was also a dead-ringer fornaomi (campbell). All This has made me loose focus of 'me' for 2 years and am now reclaiming myself once again, its taken time but Im getting their. Anyway, I wont get into these depressing stories! What does it really take to be a star..especially in Melbourne! It has been a childhood dream. Ialwayz wanted to be a model, but unfortunately...Im apparently too short. I might just seem like any other guy out there but, there is something different, rare, its hard to explain, even though people who tell me this also cant explain. Aye, Do you know anybody in Melbourne that I can go to,like any agents? Also, would you reccomend if I went to an agency and just said "Please..give me that script and let me show u what i can do"? Im willing to do almost anything...I have it in me to want to do it. I just dont know how and whereto begin...Wish I could see u in person down chapel street,somewhere, chat over a drink, lunch, etc! But I know, its impossible..By the way u look gorgeuous & very, very sexy on ur home page!!!! (the silver top one) Honeslty though, what do I do, who do I see??? Also I have enclosed a pic of me from age 15..its not very clear but its how it look rugged. I hope im not too bad...Anyway Ciao Bella, Adios Buenita, Yiassoo Koukla!!!!! :*XOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO . | Permalink 2009 RuCo, Inc.—All Rights Reserved |
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