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Saturday, August 31, 2002 FLOWER POWERmy friend TIKO told me about a flower that was named after me. click here to see the rupaul flower . | Permalink Friday, August 30, 2002 THE HOUSE OF BLUE LEAVESit was purely by accident that i darkened the doorway of THE HOUSE OF BLUES for the third time in four weeks. the only other time (before this month) that i ever went there was to see the great TOM JONES, right after i moved here four years ago. as a rule, i try to stay away from the sunset strip at night because of the desperate singles trade that cruise the boulevard. earlier in the month i saw DOLLY there, last week it was NINA HAGEN, and tonight i saw THE ABSOLUT VODKA REVUE starring THE “LADY” BUNNY. the show also featured RAVEN O, FLAVA, ANGELIQUE ALI aka MARIAH CURRY, EDIE and the EDIE DANCERS and miss lady show stopper herself SADE PENDARVIS. the show was fantastic and it was fun for me to expose TOM to the sick and twisted stylings of BUNNY HICKORY DICKORY DOCK for his very first time. i am very familiar with THE “LADY”. twenty years ago, we were inseparable for a whole year. traipsing around MIDTOWN ATLANTA, getting crunked up on placidills, pot and olde english 800. we were young, gifted and homeless, and loving every minute of it. LESLIE JORDAN was also at the show and he beat my claim to knowing BUN BUN the longest by many years. seems he knew “LIL JOHNNY” way back in CHATTANOOGA TENNESSEE, where they’re both from. seeing LESLIE also gave me the opportunity to tell him how incredibly fabulous his performance in the film SORDID LIVES is. if you have the chance to see it, RUN...DON’T WALK. i don’t foresee another visit to the HOUSE OF BLUES anytime soon, but ya never know... a performance by TANYA TUCKER or PAM TILLIS would surely get me back over there quick, fast and in a hurry ! click here to see LESLIE JORDAN'S filmography . . | Permalink Wednesday, August 28, 2002 KELLY, KELLY, KELLYmy friend TOM has a connection at FOX TV who got us tickets to tonight’s live broadcast of ARMENIAN IDOL. the most interesting aspect of the evening was watching the dynamics of the relationship between JUSTIN’S mother and his biological father. both were relishing their new found fame and both were ignoring each other as much as possible. although, his stepfather and blood father did speak to one another for a few minutes before air time. the show itself made one thing very clear, and that is that KELLY will win this competition. everytime she sang, i got goose bumps. P.S. NIKKI and JUSTIN are both so incredibly beautiful, i can’t help but wonder how gorgeous a bastard child from the two of them would be. . | Permalink Tuesday, August 27, 2002 FAMILY AFFAIRthis past weekend, my sister renae married the boy next door. well, actually he lived five doors down from us about 30 years ago, but i still think it qualifies as a storybook romance. not only was it my sister’s wedding, but also a reunion for the old neighborhood. but, i’m getting ahead of myself, so lets start with friday. A STAR IS BORN friday, i drove out to el segundo to see my sister rozy’s 6 year old boy henry make his theatrical debut in the summer school production of THE LION KING. henry played one of the hyenas to perfection. he really made the character his own, and i’m not just saying that because i’m his proud uncle. henry is a natural and was born to be on stage ! there were about 35 kids in the presentation, ranging from ages 5 thru 12. funny to watch these little people because it’s so very clear to me who they will be when they grow up. the leaders, the victims, the charismatics, the invisibles and so on, were all represented. i tried to remember what category i fell into at that age, but i couldn’t. i was just a very quiet bit player in my parent’s drama. MAMA’S FAMILY i headed down to san diego saturday morning at 7:am to avoid any traffic, and it was smooth sailing all the way. i listened to faith evans, kenny chesney and brooks & dunn c.d’s to keep me company. i decided to go down there a day early to just hang out as part of my ongoing reconciliation with my childhood. i drove through la jolla, mission beach and the hillcrest area, where i had pancakes at THE CREST CAFE. finally, before i went to my sister renetta’s house, where i would be staying for the night, i drove to the cemetery where my mother is buried. i hadn’t been there since the funeral, nine years ago. being at mama’s grave was eerie and comforting. i still miss her so much. once i got to renetta’s house (the same house i grew up in), i plopped myself down in front of the t.v. and didn’t move until it was time for bed. i saw two episodes of DYNASTY 2 : THE COLBY’S on the soap network and two terrific programs on MSNBC based solely on plastic surgery. i slept like a baby that night, like being back in the womb. LUTHERFER the wedding was lovely. my father gave renae away. it was the third time down the isle for both the bride and the groom. afterwards, we all met at renetta’s house for the reception, where her husband ulysses had prepared a feast. i really tried to hurt myself on those barbecued ribs and macaroni & cheese. fuck my diet. alot of people from the old neighborhood showed up and most of them i hadn’t seen in 25 years. the best was seeing anthony from next door. we used to build go-carts together. i left san diego that night at 11:pm en route to los angeles. somewhere near oceanside, it occurred to me that i was the only one in my family who is unmarried (not counting my marriage to satan). there was absolutely no traffic and i made it back home in one hour and forty-five minutes. i listened to luther vandross all the way. . | Permalink Friday, August 23, 2002 NIPPY INC.apparently, WHITNEY HOUSTON has covered the DEBBY BOONE classic YOU LIGHT UP MY PIPE for her new upcoming album. the following is a list of cover songs that didn’t make the album : 1) i wanna rock with you 2) rush rush 3) hard habit to break 4) dancing on the ceiling 5) smoke gets in your eyes . | Permalink Thursday, August 22, 2002 WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF ME......is none of my business. if i had really considered all of the praise or all of the criticism that i’ve received throughout my life, i wouldn’t have been able to maneuver myself to this point. what guides and sustains me is an inner voice that becomes more clear everyday, fuck all that other static. trust the process, TAMYRA. you are the winner ! . | Permalink Wednesday, August 21, 2002 WHATEVER LOLA WANTSsaw NINA HAGEN perform at the HOUSE OF BLUES last night and then went to JUMBO'S CLOWN ROOM . JUMBO’S is a strip joint on hollywood blvd. that has free admission and girls who dance to a jukebox. it’s the closest thing to the movie FLASHDANCE that i’ve ever seen. TOM had never been there, so he was in heaven. he fell completely in love with LOLA, who is everybody’s favorite. LOLA was born to strip. she strips the way SIR LAURENCE OLIVIER delivered HAMLET. since the club sells booze, the law says that dancers can only strip down to pasties and a g-string, which somehow makes the experience so much more sexy. i gave LOLA most of my money. . | Permalink Tuesday, August 20, 2002 OVER ANNAi will no longer seek out households that have cable television, just to see THE ANNA NICOLE SHOW. after watching the third installment of the reality show, i realized i’d had enough of her. the slurring of words, the fighting, the pouting, the dynamics of the relationships and mostly the ignorance that is ...ANNA. throughout the episode, i couldn’t help but feeling guilty about being a part of the exploitation of her, especially since she seems to be oblivious to it. she makes it very difficult to root for her because a.) she is no fun b.) she is not in on the joke and c.) she’s as dumb as a bucket of rocks. last night’s episode also made it very clear that her assistant KIMMY is in love with ANNA (remember what happened to SELENA ?), and that ANNA’S son and lawyer will bolt as soon as they get their piece of the settlement money. i predict that ANNA’S weight will top off at about 400 lbs. and that BOBBY TRENDY will be abducted by the GAY & LESBIAN ALLIANCE AGAINST DEFAMATION and never heard from again (of course, this is all just my humble opinion). i only pray that LIZA & DAVID will fare a little better with their upcoming reality television show. . | Permalink Monday, August 19, 2002 TASTE LIKE CHICKENDear Ru, This is Rob again, you don't know how excited I was to receive your email. I don't know if someone else reads your mail and responds cause not many big names do that especially big names like you, well for a while here im going to assume in talking with The Bitch herself, RuPaul J/K :). I have a proposition for you. I ask not of your money but of your talent. I have this poem that I wrote a while ago and I have always wanted it to be a song. It's called "Chicken Pot Pie." I dont know how you feel about Chicken Pot Pie, or harmony work but thats what this calls for. When I wrote this I wanted it to be sung and the parts in parenthisis to be sung by big fat black gospal singers, I find when I hear and see these kinds of people sing, it is a real feel good vibe i get off it. I dont use the term "black" as a racial dis (just be so your aware.) Anyway, you could add a chores and a great dance beat and this could be the song for the new Melenium, (we still dont have a great song.) I would be honored if you would sing my song, and I think it would help your career, not that it can get any better, cause I got to tell you, your doin mighty fine. Print this and think about it. Here it is, feel free to add to it or whatever, I ask nothing in return for it, but you to sing it. This could make you millions just make a great beat! like you always do. Here it is. Chicken Pot Pie Chicken (Chicken) in my (Pot Pie) Pot Pie. I woke up in the morning to get some pie! Then I thought I seen, a thigh! It's Chicken (Chicken Pot Pie! Pot Pie!) After I ate my Pot-Pie. I knew that I would not-die. Cause It's Chicken; Chicken Pot Pie (Pot Pie!) (Chicken Pot Pie!) In my eye So I sighed, and went to buy some more (Chicken Pot Pie!) So I strolled down da the road, to look for a book 'bout (Chicken Pot Pie!) All the people I seen were all mean, so I said "Don't look at me! Before I break out (Chicken Pot Pie!) Fast as lightning, strong as Popie, Everyone wants some of my Pot Pie! (Chicken!) Chicken Pot Pie (Pot Pie!) Bye the way what kind of music do you listen to? Do you like Michael Jackson, Cher, Madonna, Prince, George Michael, Savage Garden, or Alanis Moreiset? Well peice out Ru. Rob . | Permalink Sunday, August 18, 2002 THE THIN WHITE DUKEi was on my way to see the movie MONSOON WEDDING again, when i changed my mind and decided to go shopping on rodeo drive, instead. once i got to beverly hills, i changed my mind again and decided that the DAVID BOWIE exhibit at THE MUSEUM OF TELEVISION & RADIO would be far more entertaining, and it was. halfway through the presentation, i started to cry remembering how much i love BOWIE. it was then that i promised myself that i would pick up his latest album HEATHEN, asap. i also ran into my friend ELIZABETH there and we did a quick lap through DOLCE/GABBANA and GUCCI, where i bought two fucking awesome hats, one in black and one in burgundy. they’re the same man’s hat featured in the latest GUCCI ad. later, i accompanied ELIZABETH to the birthday party of a friend of hers. we had a great time eating all this food that was not a part of either of our diets. there were some soap stars in attendance and a hired male stripper who had buns like two scoops of butter pecan ice cream. yum. THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH i have a strong sense that a soul man will be appearing on my horizon very soon, and might i add... not a moment too soon. . | Permalink Saturday, August 17, 2002 BILLS, BILLS, BILLSmeanwhile, my bill for three days in the hospital came to $40.000 ! thank God my insurance is covering it. i can’t wait to see what my doctor's fee will come to. . | Permalink Thursday, August 15, 2002 RUPAUL : BEAUTY OPERATORrupaul, thank u for your time. i have admired u for awhile. but i know youveheard this alot. im wonderign if you can help me. ive tried several techniques to cover eyebrows and there unsuccesful. how do you cover your eyebrows??????? i understand if you dotn tell me cause a girl gotta keep her secrets. but it would really help an appreciative person. thanx so much again. tiffany couture tiff, 1) wipe rubbing alcohol over your brows to take away any oils. 2) apply white spirit glue to your brows and then flatten your brow with a finger until dry, but stop before the glue gets too tacky (a hand held hairdryer can be used to dry the brow faster) . 3) use krylon brand eyebrow wax to cover the brow. the wax is warmed and softened by kneading it between your index finger and your thumb. ( a hand held hairdryer can be used to warm and soften the wax) 4) apply full coverage foundation over the brow and powder as usual. remember, practice makes perfect. rupaul. . | Permalink Monday, August 12, 2002 EL SEGUNDO TEA PARTYmy lil’ sister ROZY had a tea party at her house on saturday and it was alot of fun. it seemed like old times, what with me and ROZY’S decorator friend “EVER” being the only men at the party. it was always that way when i was growing up, i’d be the only boy in a room full of girls. EVER put together the table decorations and really made the whole event special. all the women wore hats and flowery dresses and gloves. in fact, all three of my sisters looked like the way THE POINTER SISTERS used to dress back in the early 70’s when they used to wear vintage clothing. i wore my MATLOCK seersucker suit with a tie. it was also pretty funny when RENETTA and i went to the supermarket, and i’m sure some people mistook us for a couple of JEHOVAH’S WITNESS’. now, i can’t wait to have a tea party at my house. WEST HOLLYWOOD TUPPERWARE PARTY sunday i went to a TUPPERWARE party given by BRETT FREEDMAN. his tupperware lady was a hoot and a half ! she goes by the name of DIXIE LONGATE and boy does she put on a presentation ! i ended up ordering a three piece classic bowl set and a one gallon pitcher. i really wanted to order it all. click here for DIXIE'S WEBSITE. CRAZY FOR YOU i can’t believe it took me twenty years to finally see VISION QUEST, especially since i’m MATTHEW MODINE’S number one fan. the movie is chock full of homo- erotic references that continue to have me wetting my underpants. ANNA AND THE QUEEN last night’s THE ANNA NICOLE SHOW was very disturbing. aside from the bad acting job she displayed while giving the ashes of her late husband a tour of her new home and the upsetting game of VW PUNCH, the gay that she hired to decorate her crib really took the prize. he is to interior design, what DON KING is to the world of boxing. i watched the show last night in the company of some other gays, and some of the comments in the room were “he’s set gay people back twenty years” and “if he says LUXURIOUS one more time, i’m going to eat my own vomit”. i think her lawyer HOWARD K. STERN is a real hottie. it was funny seeing him with ANNA’S lipstick print on his cheek the whole episode. he looked like the puppy who ate the chocolate cake. by the way, does he have any other clients ? i guess after that big check comes in, he won’t need any other clients. . | Permalink Thursday, August 08, 2002 DOLLYWOOD BLUESyesterday, i was totally bummed because my plans to see the DOLLY PARTON concert had fallen through. i started to feel that any chance i would ever have of seeing her in person was jinxed, especially since this rare tour would be her first in ten years and possibly her last for quite some time. technically i had seen her once, when i was on stage performing at a big hollywood charity event and she was in the audience. i had also interviewed her once via telephone for the radio show i used to do with michelle visage in new york city, but i’ve never had the opportunity to see her perform or meet her in person. in fact, i’ve had the pleasure of meeting all of the stars that i looked up to when i was a kid, all except for dolly parton. when i was about 13 years old, my sister RENETTA had an eight track tape of dolly’s music and i fell i love with it. it was my first introduction to country music and i’ve been a fan of dolly and of country music ever since. if you were to strip away all the glitz and paint and powder from dolly, you’d still have a musical genius with the voice of an angel. and with over 3000 songs written and copyrighted to her credit, no one can even come close to her achievements and talent. GOOD GOLLY, MISS DOLLY so yesterday at about 5:p.m, i got a call from my friend TOM telling me that his boyfriend had somehow wrangled up some tickets for us to see dolly parton at the HOUSE OF BLUES on sunset blvd. oh my dear lord!!! i finally stopped screaming after about 10 minutes. we then made plans to meet at my house and then rendezvous over to the concert . dolly took the stage at about 9:p.m. and it nearly caused a riot in the audience. everyone was so genuinely happy and excited to see her. she looked stunning in a sparkling pink, off the shoulder dress that looked like it came directly from out of my closet. wow ! what a knock out !!! she talked to the crowd and told jokes, but at it’s core her show was all about the music. i don’t have the words to describe how beautiful the music sounded. with a voice like honey, her concert was far beyond any expectation i could have ever had. she did an hour and thirty minute show that spanned the highlights of her 45 year career in show business. from masterpieces like NINE TO FIVE, JOLENE, SMOKY MOUNTAIN MEMORIES and ISLANDS IN THE STREAM to her current album HALOS AND HORNS, dolly and her band kept the house rock-notized. i was in hog heaven. after the show, we were speechless. without having to even say it, we acknowledged that we had witnessed a phenomenon from tennessee. HELLO DOLLY this morning at 9:30 a.m. i got a call from michelle visage telling me to get down to her radio station because dolly is in the house. i live five minutes away from the station so i brushed my teeth, threw on the clothes i wore last night and hightailed it over there. i said “hi dolly, i’m rupaul” she said “well of course you are!” we talked only for a few minutes, but it was awesome ! we took one picture with her camera and one with mine. in that moment, my dream had come true. i finally got to meet dolly parton, thus fulfilling my quest to look into the eyes of all my heroes. she was the last one on my list. . | Permalink Wednesday, August 07, 2002 A POST-OP LADYKINSfirst of all, i wanna thank all the people who sent me love from around the world during my hospital stay. your love energy really made the difference in the outcome of my operation and my recovery, and i thank you all from the bottom of my heart. XANADU i arrived at cedars-sinai hospital monday morning at 6 a.m. and by 10:30 a.m. i was waking up in the recovery room. my micro-disectomy procedure was a complete success and i have no complaints. in fact, the entire three days i spent in the hospital was pure joy. the first day, i was hooked up to this I/V that had a button attached to it, which allowed me to self-administer a fabulous pain reliever called DILAUDID. oh happy day! when i was in HIGH school, dilaudid was a really big thing. it’s a first cousin to the QUAALUDE. every eight minutes i would press that button and be delivered to xanadu on a blanket of euphoria. i stayed in bed the entire day thanks to a convenient pee bottle that the nurse provided. all the rooms at cedars-sinai are singles, so i was never disturbed by someone moaning or snoring or dying. it was just me and that clever little button every eight minutes. nobody needed to know that i have had a special relationship with drugs in the past, it would just be my little secret. NIRVANA on the second day, they unhooked the oxygen tube that flowed up my nose and turned off the leg massager that kept my blood from clotting and disconnected my sweet ass I/V which carried the liquid love directly into my bloodstream. but no worries mate, from here on out they would give me a shot of dilaudid every 4 hours chased by 2 vicodin a couple of hours later. WOO WHO ! was i dreaming or what ? had i really died on the operating table and gone to some junkie heaven ? of course it goes without saying, that i would religiously watch the clock on the wall anticipating my next injection. and with not a second past 4 hours, i would buzz the nurse for my medicine. when she’d walk into my room carrying that needle, it looked better to me than a ten inch cock ! i had found nirvana ! after nurse betty would leave, i’d turn off the lights, program a dionne warwick set in my ipod, put my headphones on and drift away on a cloud so transparent it was naked to the human eye. CUBA wednesday morning, when my doctor walked in and asked if i wanted to stay another night i said HELL YES. my reply was not based solely upon the gorgeous supply of drugs that the hospital had to offer, but also on the fact that i was still having some difficulty getting in and out of bed. i mean, i did have friggin’ surgery on my back. they had me walking the halls 4 times a day, but trust...it was very, very slowly. they told me that it was really important for me to walk as much as i could. i would hobble the hospital floors at five in the morning wearing a burberry bucket hat and a japanese kimono, listening to CHER in my headphones (thank God i brought my ipod). the hospital staff could not have been any nicer, they were absolutely lovely. my favorite was the male nurse from cuba (he’d be played by antonio banderas). THE TRICKLE DOWN THEORY i was released thursday morning with the instructions to “not over do it” and “to take it easy”, which is exactly what i’ve been doing. sunday, i got behind the wheel of my vehicle to drive to tom’s house. the driving aggravated my back a little, but i had to see THE ANNA NICOLE SHOW. i loved it ! what a train wreck ! i can’t wait to see next week ! she had to have been on the same medication i was on when i was in the hospital. ANNA looked just like the late, great GINGER RODGERS, right before her death, all bloated and painted up like a “baby jane sex doll”. how perfect would she be for the next JOHN WATERS film ? when she gets her settlement, she’ll be excellent for the los angeles economy, everyone will benefit. i mean, the trickle down theory will be astounding, doctors, drug dealers, lawyers, plastic surgeons, hustlers, interior designers...etc. it’s a real live BEVERLY HILLBILLIES. THE QUEEN OF HICK/HOP monday night, i took adrian to see SORDID LIVES. it was my first time sitting in a movie theater since the last time i saw SORDID LIVES. it was even better the second time around. yesterday, i found out that my connection at the HOUSE OF BLUES had been laid off. which means that i ain’t gonna get to see DOLLY PARTON tonight. now that’s really fucked up ! A.I. (artificial idol) i predict that nikki will be booted off the island tonight, although i wish it were r.j. who gets the boot. . | Permalink 2009 RuCo, Inc.—All Rights Reserved |
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