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Saturday, March 18, 2006

INSIDE JOB

sometimes i have moments when i feel for love everybody. like right now, i'm sitting on the airplane, and i can see the beauty in everyone boarding the aircraft. yes, it feels good, but i must admit it's very overwhelming and requires sooo much responsibility. it's moments like this when i understand why the world chooses indifference over love. the world chooses indifference over love not because it's such a small idea, but because it's such a huge idea. it's much easier to be numb to it.

i used to do alotta drugs and i had alotta fun doing them until it wasn't fun anymore. at the time, i felt my "always stoned, never straight" philosophy was justified because i was "such a sensitive soul in such a loveless world".

several years into my sobriety i had an epiphany about my history as a soldier in the "wake & bake" army. my realization was that i didn't do all those drugs because the world was such a loveless place, i did all those drugs because the world was filled with so much love that i had to numb myself from it. i didn't know how to live in a world with all this love for me. hell, i didn't even know how to love myself, much less accept it from complete strangers.

oh shit! CLIVE OWEN just boarded the plane and is sitting across the aisle from me! i fucking worship the air that surrounds that fucker! i gotta go.

.

Posted by Ru on Saturday, March 18, 2006 at Saturday, March 18, 2006 | Permalink



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