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Wednesday, November 27, 2002 Things you can only say at Thanksgiving:1. Talk about a huge breast! 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3. How long do I beat it before it's ready? 4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst! 5. Whew, that was one terrific spread! 6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat. 7. Are you ready for seconds yet? 8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it? 9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some! 10. Don't play with your meat. 11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in. 12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once? 13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once! 14. You still have a little bit on your chin. 15. How long will it take after you stick it in? 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up. 17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that! 18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen! thanks, josh. . | Permalink Tuesday, November 26, 2002 DEPARTMENT of MOTOR VEHICLESmonday morning i had a 10:15 appointment to renew my drivers license at the DMV. what could have been a crashing bore turned out to be kind of a thrill, because standing in line with me was the girl who portrayed SYLK in the movie GLITTER. she was as gorgeous in person as she was in the movie. we didn’t speak, but she caught me clocking her several times. behind the counter, i saw the same guy who gave me my driving test seven years ago (that was after not having had a license for over nine years. i got my first drivers license the day i turned sixteen, but i let it expire after years of living in new york city). i remember that he instructed me to drive to his apartment so that i could meet his roommates and take pictures with them. i was afraid that if i didn’t, he would fail me. i remember he also told me that he had given DONNA SUMMER her driving test. i wonder if he had her drive to his house ? currently, i’m really digging TONI BRAXTON’S new album MORE THAN A WOMAN. my favorite song for the past two weeks had been ALMOST DOESN’T COUNT from BRANDY’S 1998 opus NEVER SAY NEVER, but now at #1 in my world is TONI’S new flopped single HIT THE FREEWAY. here is a list of my current top five songs : 1.) hit the freeway.....toni braxton 2.) almost doesn’t count......brandy 3.) full moon (damien mendis remix)......brandy 4.) what’s your flavor ?.......craig david 5.) pussycat (pussy don’t fail me now)......missy elliott . | Permalink Monday, November 25, 2002 CON LECHEit’s with cautious trepidation that i dare mention the funk that i’ve been in this past weekend, for fear that i’ll get a ton of letters (with a concerned tone) saying “oh, honey...you have nothing to be down about”. my reply to that would be...fuck off, ass bag ! too bad i can’t blog about what i’m really feeling, but that’s what i have a therapist for. although, i was pleasantly encouraged to tell it like it T-I-IS by the blog i read yesterday. it belongs to gay pornstar JEFF PALMER , who i ran into at CHICHI’s birthday bash last week. on his web site, he writes about his outrageous sexcapades with a devil may care attitude. all the juicy details are left in to leave nothing to the imagination. after reading his weblog, i caught myself fantasizing about what it must be like to be so uninhibited...well, maybe not AS uninhibited as JEFF, but a fraction. can you fathom the concept of doing whatever you felt like doing, without caring what people might say ? . | Permalink Saturday, November 23, 2002 WISEGURLZMICHELLE VISAGE gave me an advance DVD of WISEGIRLS for my birthday, and i couldn’t wait to have a screening with TOM. he and i are big MARIAH fans for all the right and wrong reasons. the movie is boring, but mariah is the best thing about it. her performance is good and i love the sound of her smokey, husky speaking voice. i just wish she could have chosen better vehicles to show off her acting talent. check out her new official website . it’s so much better than her old one, but still not as comprehensive as mariahdaily.com. later, we dropped by the trannie strip show at 7969 santa monica blvd. it was so so phenomenal def ! it keeps getting better and better each week !!! loads of fake titties and silicone asses. we were in transsexual heaven. thursday night, MS. SHABAZZ (the daughter of malcolm x) asked me to introduce SIEDAH GARRETT at the CONGA ROOM. SIEDAH performed material from her forthcoming album, as part of the DRUM OF LIFE series at the club. the show was amazing ! SIEDAH can really sing her ass off. i watched the show with ARI and my ol’ buddy JENIFER LEWIS. afterwards, this cutie came over and introduced herself. we used to talk on the phone about nine years ago, but we had never met in person. she told me that she was currently collaborating with my old songwriting partner, JIMMY HARRY. . | Permalink Wednesday, November 20, 2002 GOLDEN SHOWERearly monday evening, this brilliant singular sensation called me up and summoned me down to oceanway studios to do some background vocals on a track for her upcoming album. being at oceanway studios brought back memories of ***the night i was visited by a ghost in my suite at the CHATEAU MARMONT. after the session, i went over to the ARCLIGHT THEATERS for an album signing by the 70’s SUPREMES. they were all there, SHERRIE PAYNE, JEAN TERRELL, CINDY BIRDSONG, LINDA LAWRENCE and SUSAYE GREENE, all except for MARY WILSON. the event was in conjunction with a local radio station for the just released anthology album, and there was a huge turn-out. later that night, me, TAZ and ARI went to PEANUTS for the drag show that, unbeknownst to me, was a tribute in my honor as a birthday present. i was thrilled and truly touched. RAJA did a rupaul impersonation that was flawless. at 2:30 a.m. we drove up to mulholland dr. to watch the meteor shower that streaked the skies of southern california. it was spectacular ! *** i’d returned to the hotel after a long day of recording a song at oceanway for the ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES soundtrack. upon entering my suite, i noticed a strange feeling but paid it no mind because i was so exhausted. that morning when the phone rang, i reached for it on the night stand but it wasn’t there, it was laying on the bed beside me along with a bottle of water, a tape recorder, a note pad and pen, my cigarettes, a lighter, an ashtray and a book. it was as though someone had outlined my body using the items on the night stand, while trapping me under the covers. i didn’t freak out, i just phoned the concierge and he said that they have occurrences at least once a week. . | Permalink Monday, November 18, 2002 MISSISSIPPI TEA PARTYeveryone dressed as though they were coming to a proper tea party given by THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES. it was great seeing folks decked out in seersucker suits and flowery dresses with hats and gloves. i wore a pair of denim overalls with a white, short sleeve, dress shirt and bow tie. we served several different flavors of tea and had finger sandwiches and salad with grilled chicken. my sisters, cousins, nieces, nephews, friends and in-laws, all made it a very special birthday party for me. my favorite moments were watching MICHELLE VISAGE’s two and a half year old daughter LILLIE, dance her buns off to RICKY SKAGGS’ “HONEY” and TOM and i doing the TEXAS TWO-STEP to TANYA TUCKER. i received lots of great gifts including a ton of cd’s and a painting that TOM gave me by my favorite artist . i love being 42. i earned every one of those years. . | Permalink Sunday, November 17, 2002 I CHANGED MY MINDi was born 42 years ago today at 7:58 p.m. in san diego, california. i just started celebrating my birthday two years ago. all the years prior to that, i would not tell people that it was my birthday and i would just ignore it. i’d stay in bed all day and not answer the phone. i didn’t like getting all the attention for something i didn’t do. when i turned 40, i changed my mind. i believe it’s quite an accomplishment to have survived all the fucked up situations i’ve put myself in...i,e blackouts brought on by pills and booze and getting into cars with strangers. i will celebrate today to acknowledge God’s blessing of life, and to honor my loved one’s who didn't make it to this part of the journey . . | Permalink Saturday, November 16, 2002 CHI CHI PARTYlast night, chi chi larue’s annual birthday bash was held at the henry fonda theatre on hollywood blvd, and as usual, the event brought out the top gay and straight adult film stars in the business. i got the chance to tell this superstar that had i seen his films before i interviewed him on my tv show, it would have been a very different interview. he was born to fuck on film and he is by far my favorite straight male porn performer ever ! also in attendance was this american treasure , who later in the evening performed with her band. one of the songs she sang was the title theme to the film classic in which she stars as “taffy davenport”. others on the guest list included JACKIE STALLONE, BRUCE VILANCH, DENNIS CHRISTOPHER , PEPPA MASHAY and BRAD McGUIRE (my new fave gay porn star). thrustpuppy.com always sends me the hottest links, and i’m not talking about sausage. CLICK HERE to witness the gift of chad. | Permalink Thursday, November 14, 2002 DARK DAYS FOR LA DIVAthe music industry has suffered great loses in the all important forth quarter of this year due to poor record sales, rampant file sharing and music that just plain sucks, but no one has suffered more than the superdiva’s of the business. mariah, toni, monica, faith hill, tlc, christina aguilera, deborah cox and whitney have all failed to crack the top 40 with their current singles. your favorite songstress needs your help ! call the radio station and request her music. here is a list of the cd’s that i’ve bought so far this week : NEW... 1.) heather headley......this is who i am 2.) brandy......full moon (remix ep) 3.) brandy......u don’t know me (remix ep) 4.) roxy music.......the best of... 5.) rick astley.......greatest hits USED... 1.) miss kitten & the hacker......first album 2.) smokey robinson......the solo anthology 3.) gigi d’agostino......l’amour toujours 4.) mcfadden & whitehead......mcfadden & whitehead 5.) the art of noise......in visible silence 6.) bananarama......true confessions ON HEAVY ROTATION IN MY CAR AND HOME THIS WEEK... 1.) justin timberlake......justified 2.) christina aguilera.......stripped (aka skanked) 3.) brandy.......the best of (homemade by me) 4.) mary j. blige......dance for me 5.) deborah cox......the morning after 6.) house of diabolique.com......31 . | Permalink Wednesday, November 13, 2002 ...AND STUFFi finally saw the documentary BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE. it has been added to my list of the best films of the year, as well as the film FAR FROM HEAVEN. please click here to see my favorite site of the week, and then here to see my other fave of the week. . | Permalink Monday, November 11, 2002 BOOGIE WONDERLANDi had so much fun today ! what a blast ! it all started at ALLEE WILLIS' birthday party at her house. she invited twenty friends over to celebrate, and it turned out to be an artistic meeting of the minds. guests included me and TOM, STEPHEN BRAY , RICK NOWELS, BRENDA RUSSELL, KATEY SAGAL, PAUL REUBENS , BUD CORT , JANE WAGNER and LILY TOMLIN. every time i get to be in the company of MISS TOMLIN, i work real hard to keep my composure, as not to scare her to death. if she knew how much i live for her, she would be very afraid. the movies BIG BUSINESS, ALL OF ME, NINE TO FIVE and the american masterpiece NASHVILLE, are all reasons to have a national holiday named in her honor (not to mention her one woman shows). i was also very excited to meet RICK NOWELS for the first time, having long been a huge fan of his music. after we left the birthday party, we met up with TAZ and drove down to the city of COMMERCE where i was one of twelve judges at the QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE pageant. in a word ? TRANSEXUALISTIC ! the show started at 8:pm and was over by midnight. MISS THAILAND won the crown, but i thought for sure it would go to MISS SINGAPORE, who was an absolute knockout ! we capped the evening off by having BLT's at the HOUSE OF PIE'S. . | Permalink Sunday, November 10, 2002 THE NAME GAMEyesterday, when the police officer asked me for my license and registration, i had already resigned myself to the fact that i would receive a traffic ticket, because i had indeed made a vehicular boo boo. the surprise came when he looked at the name on my drivers license and asked me if i was “the rupaul”. i said yes, and he let me go. ironically, just one hour prior to that encounter with the law, i told a passenger in my car that had i been smart, i would have used a made-up name for my professional life, to maintain some degree of anonymity in my personal life. in 1989, when i was REALLY boozing it up, i would insist that people call me “cupcake”, and by 2:am when i was fully crunked, i would demand that people refer to me as “bianca dinkins”, the illegitimate daughter of new york mayor david dinkins. after what happened yesterday, i’m happy to use the name that my mama gave me, if only i can get folks to stop thinking that my last name is paul. . | Permalink Thursday, November 07, 2002 Dear Rupaul,My name is Chad and I needed some help with my skin complexion. I enjoy performing as a drag queen, but am limited to how many shows I perform in because of my skin. I get ingrown hairs really bad. I have tried numerous skin products with no results. I turned to you because you are my idol and you are flawless. I would appreciate any suggestions you may have for me. I look forward to hearing from you. I understand that you are a busy Diva, and don't expect miracles, but I knew I could turn to you for some advice. Thanks in advance. Humbly Yours Chad chad, try " tend skin " or "majic shave", both are available at the beauty supply store. i've been having electrolysis treatments for a number of years (to deal with the same problem) and the results are great, but it's expensive. good luck, rupaul . | Permalink Sunday, November 03, 2002 THESE FOLKS IS JUST PLAIN IGNUNT !last week, i received a letter from the NATIONAL GAY & LESBIAN TASK FORCE stating that they had joined the boycott of CHUCK KNIPP, the gay comedian who portrays the character “shirley q. liquor”. as i read the letter, i quickly realized that the people behind the boycott were using the oldest trick in the book to further their own political careers. the “communist threat” of the 1950’s, the “salem witch trials” and “hidden satanic lyrics in rock music” are all examples of how “crying wolf” has been used effectively throughout history to gain prominence for career minded whistle blowers at the expense of innocent victims. had anyone ever heard of TIPPER GORE, JERRY FALWELL or SEN. McCARTHY before they informed the world of a lurking and sinister evil, that was threatening to unseat mankind ? the NGLTF sent me the letter as an obvious reaction to my weblog entry entitled THE SHIRLEY Q. LIQUOR CONFLAMA, in which i lambasted the protesters of a “SHIRLEY Q.” nightclub appearance for being unsophisticated barbarians and transparent opportunist with misguided rage. in my journal entry, i also stated that i am a fan of CHUCK KNIPP and that if i had sensed any malicious intent in his comedy routine, i would not be able to laugh at it. my gut will not allow me to laugh at deliberate cruelty. i am very sensitive to issues of racism, sexism and discrimination. i am a gay black man, who started my career as a professional transvestite in georgia, twenty years ago. why would the NGLTF go after CHUCK KNIPP ? aren’t there hundreds of important issues that need the attention of the NGLTF ? i believe that the important issues that threaten gay life are too much of a tall order for the NGLTF. i believe that in making the boycott of CHUCK KNIPP a priority, they can appear to be an effective political force. not unlike the school bully who picks on the smallest kid to create fear and gain control of the playground, these power mongers have pulled out the race card to instigate panic and incite fear to achieve their goal. the same scare tactic seems to be working for “the good ol’ boy from texas”, who is calling for a war on iraq to distract the public away from his incompetency in the white house and to gain political leverage by creating a common enemy. the letter i received had the names three organizers of the boycott and each name was prefaced by the words “executive director” or “acting executive director” (..i,e.. see how important and powerful i am ?) these self-righteous showboaters have clearly chosen style over substance. they’re too busy prancing around on their politically correct high horses to realize that, by demanding that MR. KNIPP stop performing as a black female character, they’re the one’s being sexist and racist ! black folks call each other “niggaz” and gays call each other “fags” and “dykes”, but no offense is taken because it’s coming from a place of love. i myself have worn blackface, a confederate flag and a KKK outfit. would it make a difference to the protesters if they knew how much “black blood” MR.KNIPP had in him ? just because he appears to be white, it doesn’t mean that he is. my grandfather appeared to be white, until he opened his mouth and spoke. does “shirley q. liquor” pose a threat to humanity ? not hardly. but, if you have a chip on your shoulder and a stick wedged firmly up your ass, then i can see how you might think that CHUCK KNIPP’S comedy routine is offensive. people who are not adept at using their intuition would not be able to sense the love and respect that MR.KNIPP has for black culture. the same way a small child who accidentally overhears sex games coming from her parents bedroom may not be able comprehend that mommy is not really hurting daddy and that daddy really enjoys it when mommy behaves that way. the difference is that the adults who choose to pay to see “shirley q. liquor” are mature enough to know the difference and that CHUCK KNIPP is coming from a place of love, not hate. taken out of context, “shirley q. liquor” can easily be misunderstood. taken out of context, the NGLTF could easily be branded as a group of self serving sexual deviates who promote unchristian like behavior and who are actively trying to recruit “our children” into their cult. it sounds outrageous, but it’s happened before. it’s a dangerous game, lest we forget what happened in germany sixty years ago. i said everything that i wanted to say about this topic in my before mentioned essay and the last thing i want to have is an open dialog with these narrow-minded bureaucrats (because they simply don’t get it and never will), but i felt compelled to respond to these current round of attacks based solely on protecting my own freedom to express myself as an artist. what’s next on the politically correct NGLTF agenda ? will all drag queens be boycotted because we’re not really women ? will lesbians be brow beaten into wearing more feminine clothing ? will white rappers be protested until they start talking like real white people ? will brunettes be blacklisted because blond isn’t their natural hair color ? LEARN IT ! rupaul charles | Permalink Friday, November 01, 2002 SHIT, PEE AND PYT ... LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT ME.1) i never go out on halloween. drunk people behind masks , who are hell bent on having a good time, scare the shit out of me. 2) i never go out on new years eve. drunk people behind the wheels of cars, who are hell bent on having a good time, scare the shit out of me. 3) my favorite holiday is easter. i really dig the concept of resurrection. 4) “pyt” is my favorite song on THRILLER. 5) i always sit down to pee. . | Permalink 2009 RuCo, Inc.—All Rights Reserved |
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