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Saturday, October 18, 2003 IT WASN’T MEevery time i sit down to write my blog, i have to be very careful about how much information i divulge. you may have noticed that i only write about my travels after i’ve returned home. i get weirded out by people knowing my comings and goings. i don’t even like to post my upcoming personal appearances anymore. just 2 weeks ago, i got a call from detectives who were tracking down thieves that had stolen my credit card number and had run up charges of $11.000. similarly, a few years ago, some other crooks stole those stupid pre-approved checks from my mail box to the tune of $9.000. the crooks were caught, i stopped my credit card company from sending those checks, and i now have a post office box and a paper shredder. a couple of years ago, i went the HOLLYWOOD HILLS house party of a well known music producer. one week later, i couldn’t figure out why the MOBIL speedpass on my key ring wasn’t working. i came to find out that a parking valet at the party had stolen the computer chip out of it’s plastic cylinder and had charged $1.400 at gas stations in the SAN BERNARDINO area. now i will only give the valet parking attendant one key and i’ve removed all personal information from my glove box. in 1997, a man was sentenced to 4 years in prison for “personating” me. he ran “cons” by telling people that he was me and signed my name to checks. i did not know this man, nor had i ever seen or met him before. one month after his release from prison, he was caught for stealing my identity again. he is now serving 8 years in prison. i don’t want to elaborate anymore on this particular episode, but i will say that the whole experience made me feel completely violated and very angry. i get emails from people who say that they’ve read my profile on FRIENDSTER or talked to me in a chat room. i have never done either. i don’t like the idea of talking to someone who knows me, but i don’t know them. it gives me the creeps. . | Permalink AS JUDGE JUDY WOULD SAY... “OF GOOD CHARACTER”on the night that i was to meet BILLY B. for dinner he was running late at work, so he asked me to meet him at his job so that we could just go from there. his job that day was doing MICHELLE WILLIAMS’ make-up for photos to promote her second solo album. when i got down there, MICHELLE’S fellow group member BEYONCE was also there. it was her day off so she was just hangin’ to lend support. the fact that BEYONCE was there on her day off just goes to show the kind of character she possesses. in person, i’ve always found her to be kind, warm and genuine. she is truly aces in my book. PJ and his boyfriend DAVID have TIVO at their apartment. on one of the nights i was over there, they were catching up on a weeks worth of television. in one single evening, they got me hooked on SURVIVOR and a soap opera called PASSIONS. if i ever had any doubt that my addictive personality was under control, i was dead wrong. once a week, i would find myself at their place to get my fix of both tv melodramas. PASSIONS is so outrageously unbelievable that you’ve just got to love it. my favorite character is a nurse called PRECIOUS, played by a real-live orangutan. the men on the show all manage to be very sexy, even though they all suffer from that L.A plucked, moussed, fake tan look. “luis” is the hottest. he has big juicy nipples the size of half dollars. the show’s only drawback is that the storyline moves so slow, that the poor actors have to appear in the same clothes for 3 weeks at a time. the men of SURVIVOR: PEARL NECKLACE are scrumptious, as well. why is it that the more good looking a person is, the more character they lack ? is it because good looking people don’t need scruples to get ahead in life ? of course, that’s not always the case, but it’s more often the case than not. case in point, OSTEN and BURTON from SURVIVOR. both are completely self centered and useless to the tribe, and both were put on this earth for one thing and one thing only: FINGER-LICKING GOOD HOT SEX ! . | Permalink Thursday, October 16, 2003 DINNER’S AT EIGHTi associate so much of the NYC lifestyle with food. you know, here a slice, there a slice, everywhere a slice-slice. i can literally eat my way across the island. falafels, double toasted sesame bagels with cream cheese and a “regular coffee” (that’s a coffee with milk and two sugars in MANHATTAN), and of course my favorite gotham nosh staple: a regular slice of pizza. every NEW YORKER has their favorite pizza stop and cop, but i have several. i frequent TWO BOOTS on the corner of 7th ave and 11th st, SAL’S on avenue A and 7th st. and that place on the corner of charles and hudson. i like the sauce on my pizza to be more savory than sweet, and the parlors i mentioned get it right everytime. i’d meet friends for dinner every night, usually at my favorite restaurant in the city called CASAREZ (not it’s real name). one night i had a multi- tasking dinner there with MICHAEL and KEVIN. not only did we catch up on each other’s lives, but i brought my IBOOK with me to upload 1800 songs into MICHAEL’S brand new IPOD. (i had done the same thing with PJ’S new IPOD earlier in the week. every 7th person walking down the street in NYC has an IPOD.) another night at the same restaurant, two leather studs visiting from HOLLAND introduced themselves to me and BILLY B. these guys were hot as fucking hell. the funny thing is that one of the guys turned out to be the president of the INTERNATIONAL DIANA ROSS FAN CLUB. needless to say, we had lots to talk about, in fact, we met at the same restaurant two nights later, before heading out for a night on the town. PJ and i met up with RHONDA ROSS and her buddy TERRENCE at a soul food restaurant in HARLEM on 116th st. called AMY RUTH’S. the food was slammin’!!! later, RHONDA (she lives up there with her husband) showed us around the neighborhood, which has changed considerably since i was there last. there are tons of new businesses and renovated houses, and even a MAC COSMETICS store. when i’m in MANHATTAN, i barely go above 14th st. so, going up to HARLEM felt like we were traveling to CANADA. the latest restaurant custom in the city is for most of the patrons to go outside and have a cigarette after dinner and before coffee and dessert, myself included. i didn’t mind it in the crisp fall evening, but i can only imagine what a pain it will be in the dead of winter. . | Permalink Wednesday, October 15, 2003 WHO’S THAT SEXY CHANGE OVER THERE ?most of my recent days in NYC were spent waiting for repairmen to arrive or running around looking for “plaster of paris”. my nights were a completely different story. i used the night time to have dinner with friends or catch a show on broadway...well, one show in particular, THE GAIETY: all-male burlesque revue. not only is it broadway’s longest running show, but it’s also the thickest ! in the great mall-ification of the city, it’s a wonder that THE GAIETY still exist. the sexiest men that MONTREAL and THE STATE OF FLORIDA have to offer, converge on this little piece of heaven, located above the HOWARD JOHNSON’S in TIMES SQUARE, to spread their butt cheeks and shake their hard cocks in the faces of eager patrons such as i, but no touching...for that would be illegal or at least a little more expensive. during my month long visit to the BIG APPLE, i dropped in on the man-pussy palace about 7 times. each time thinking this could be the last time these glorious doors are opened, given the current political climate of the city and the world. i don’t know how long THE GAIETY has been there, but i think my first visit there was in 1984, back when the whole area was the DISNEYLAND of sex. now, the whole area is just DISNEYLAND. yes, the city has changed greatly in the five years that i’ve been away. most noticeably missing is the edginess that has always been synonymous with NEW YORK CITY, but guess what...i’ve changed too, and i’m ok with that. i accept the fact that the city is different. it’s still the most amazing city on earth, due to the diversity and energy of it’s people. in fact, my whole trip could be summed up in one word...acceptance. i kept having to stop myself from kvetching about the SEX IN THE CITY wannabe’s stumbling around AVE. C in MANOLO BLAHNIK’S while slurring into a cell phone at three o'clock in the morning (“there goes the neighborhood”). i wish i could tell you that i’m so together and tres evolved that i chose to accept the changes going on around me because i knew i’d have a better chance at accepting the changes going on inside of me, but that’s not true. i chose acceptance because it’s fucking just plain easier...simple as that. i’m increasingly more selective with the battles i choose these days. P.S. true story. while thumbing through an issue of NEXT MAGAZINE, i noticed a photo of OCTAVIA ST. LAURENT, star of PARIS IS BURNING. what tickled me was that she has changed her name to OCTAVIA ST. LAURENT MANOLO BLAHNIK. . | Permalink Tuesday, October 14, 2003 “DO YOU THINK IT’S CLEAN...WELL, DO YOU ?!!”i went to NYC to assess one of the properties that i own, recently left vacant by tenants who had lived there for over 5 years. it had been that long since i stepped foot in the place, so i felt the need to be there to oversee repairs that had to be done. what i thought would take one week ended up taking four weeks to complete. i had the joint repainted, wood floors redone, new carpet for one of the bedrooms, replaced cracked mirrors and had a plumber come in to snake the line and replace some pipes. on top of all that, under the expert guidance of my friend CRAZY CRAIG, i gave the digs the kind of top to bottom cleaning that only a proud owner would embark upon. CRAIG had me invest in a toothbrush from the 99 cents store, that proved to be my best defense against hard to reach ghook (it was clear to me that the tenants had never enlisted the help of a housekeeper). he had me take off and clean all of the electrical outlet and light switch covers, but before i could replace them, he had me to dip the toothbrush in rubbing alcohol to brush off the years of grime on and around the outlets and switches themselves. brilliant ! i soaked all of the trays and racks from the refrigerator in the bathtub, and gave that icebox a wipe down it won’t soon forget. it was the same treatment for the stove, the dishwasher and the air conditioning filters, and again, that cheap toothbrush made the difference between an OK cleaning and a MOMMIE DEAREST affair. i cleaned the two overhead fans, dry cleaned the drapes, had the front door locks changed, had the kitchen sink faucet replaced, and CRAIG re-caulked around the kitchen sink. after PJ’s boyfriend DAVID clued me in on the joys of OXY-CLEAN, i launched a full out attack on the grout between the tiles on the kitchen floor. i won...but not without my toothbrush. when it was all said and done, i felt such a sense of accomplishment. i had learned so many practical tips from CRAIG, that i couldn’t wait to get back to my house in L.A. to whip it into shape. i am not a “clean freak”, but i am also not a slob. MAMA used to say “if you ain’t got a goddamn thing to your name, at least keep what you do have clean”. wherever my mother is, i’m sure she’s very proud of me for taking care of business and getting the job done right. . | Permalink Thursday, October 09, 2003 “LOOK WHO’S BACK IN DA MOTHERFUCKIN’ HOUSE,WIT TWO BIG TIG OL’ BIDDIES FO YO MOUTH !” i just arrived home in L.A after being in NYC for a whole month. i can’t wait to tell you all about my trip. . | Permalink 2009 RuCo, Inc.—All Rights Reserved |
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