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Sunday, March 16, 2008
it's now been 4 years since i smoked a cigarette. more than the nicotine, i was addicted to blocking my feelings with fags. for almost 30 years, i put up a wall of smoke that suffocated feelings and kept people at bay.
back when i started, smoking was a socially sanctioned time-out. if the shit got too heavy, i'd light one up. i deferred my frustrations for so long that after 3 decades i was facing a colossal monolith of emotions i had never dealt with.
today, i use the processing tools i've learned to sort through feelings that overwhelm me. the greatest processing tool is remembering to breathe, something i didn't do very well when i chain smoked Kool filter kings.
Posted by Ru
on
Sunday, March 16, 2008
at Sunday, March 16, 2008 | Permalink
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