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Thursday, May 25, 2006

SHE LIVES IN ME

even before i took my seat at the annual condo board meeting i was sweating profusely, and i knew why. i was filled with fear because i had chosen to show my face and have a voice on the board for the first time in 11 years.

by showing up, it meant i was no longer anonymous. from here on out i would be thought of as an accessible, responsible adult, and these people not only know where i live, but they can knock on my front door without having to be buzzed up. that is what fucking terrified me.

midway through the meeting, i brought up an issue about the building's foyer that everyone agreed with me on, but i had to go and ruin my responsible adult routine by using the word "fucking" in my pitch. it didn't seem to bother anyone on the board except for me, in fact, they all laughed because i used it in the context of a joke, but i was horrified by my lack of decorum long into the night, well after the meeting had adjourned.

in all the years i did live morning radio i never cussed on the air. why on earth did i do it in the condo meeting?

well, i knew it had to do with being nervous, but it was my friend RANDY who pointed out that i subconsciously wanted to put the board members off so that they wouldn't feel free to come knocking on my door in a neighborly fashion.

oh, i see! it all makes sense now. that's an old trick i learned from MAMA.
i am my mother's spawn. i am the son of "MEAN MISS CHARLES"!

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