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Tuesday, July 08, 2003

JUSTIFIED AND ANCIENT

after the initial shock of the unexpected extension of our trip to ISRAEL, JOELLE and i soon realized that it was a godsend that we stayed an extra week. how could we have gone all the way over there and not planned a trip to JERUSALEM or THE DEAD SEA ? well, we rectified that oversight pronto. we hired a private tour guide named MOSHE (to be played by JERRY STILLER) to drive us down to JERUSALEM, which is only an hour south of TEL-AVIV. JERUSALEM was truly breathtaking and i was very moved by it emotionally. i kept saying to myself, this is the place where JESUS used to “kick it”. the city is also quite beautiful with it’s rolling hills and buildings made of limestone. at THE WAILING WALL, male visitors are lent YARMULKE’s (which i didn’t need because i was wearing a cowboy hat) and females are lent shawls to cover their shoulders. men and women are divided by a partition, women to the right and men to the left. even farther left is a doorway that leads to an indoor section of the wall for men only, very similar to the backroom at THE COCK in NEW YORK CITY, only with more lights on. MOSHE led me back there, where most of the men were hasidic jews. i felt like i had entered a sacred ceremony, which indeed i had. the men were praying out loud and rocking back and forth. i remember thinking to myself, wow, if the kids on the block i grew up on could see me now ! MOSHE was very informative, but also very long winded. by the time we got to the SEVENTH STATION OF THE CROSS, JOELLE and i were both more than willing to be crucified. our tour guide had used up all of the available disk space in our brains, and we were only two thirds of the way through OLD JERUSALEM. relief came in the form of TAL (played by the actor who sticks his dick in the apple pie in the movie AMERICAN PIE) and TALLY (a young MOLLY RINGWALD), two college kids we arranged to meet through TAL’S brother LIOR, a record producer i know from L.A. we had a meal with them, and later they took us to a used cd shop where i bought a U.K. edition of THE STYLISTICS GREATEST HITS.

MANDINGO OF THE MIDDLE EAST

although most of my friends would disagree, i don’t have “a type” of man that i’m attracted to. i love all types of men, but if i had to narrow it down, at the top of my “most yummy list” would be the men of ISRAEL and BRAZIL. that’s why, when the offer to go to ISRAEL came through, i thought to myself...hmmm, big lips, golden skin, hairy chest, sandy colored hair and green eyes all wrapped up in army fatigues...JOELLE, pack my pussycat wig, we’re going to the land of “the chosen cock”. although, i didn’t make that love connection, it was worth it to just feast my eyes on all the sex machines that populate the region. funny enough, we were supposed to go to BRAZIL on july 12th, but the gig fell through.

HERE’S A LIST OF THE NEW AND USED CD’S I BOUGHT IN ISRAEL :

1. debbie harry...rockbird (out of print)

2. diana king...respect (never released in the states)

3. lisa stansfield...biography (w/bonus cd)

4. mica paris...i never felt like this before (maxi single)

5. jade...don’t walk away (maxi single)

6. carl douglas...kung fu fighting (full length album)

7. visage...best of visage

8. the three degrees...sing the three degrees

9. minnie riperton...come into my garden (her 1970 debut)

10. the stylistics...greatest hits


tomorrow’s blog: ALIVE ON THE DEAD SEA

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